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Meet-up Sadness

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Lov3shy | 18:31 Sat 04th Jun 2011 | Relationships & Dating
7 Answers
After meeting the guy that I like for the first time yesterday, I left feeling rather happy but that feeling deteriorated after boarding the train. It was bad at night (It was 1:05am and I thought to myself "I met Ben 12 hours ago"). This morning, I woke up feeling upset and then started crying. Why? It's likely because I miss him.

I'll say what happened to provide some insight. Well, first read this http://www.theanswerb.../Question1019378.html - this is a little of what happened before and shows my sadness before. My train to get to him was delayed yet we met eventually. There was a lovely hug at the beginning and the actual meet-up was nice too. He still comes across as sweet but I know that I wanted to be close to him physically. We were in a park at one point and I rested my head on his shoulder and then kissed his cheek. He then kissed mine after we left and after I said he could kiss mine if he wanted to. When my train arrived, we had a big hug that lasted about 5 seconds and was rather tight. I kissed his cheek and he returned it and we waved goodbye a few times before I got on the train, waving goodbye one last time. He said that he missed me also and that he had a lovely time.

I'm not too sure what to think or what to do either. Well, I have a plan and that's to speak to him about my feelings and to say that I need to get to know him better because I know that I came across as wanting him perhaps with the kisses, particularly one time where I was hugging him with a pillar in the middle and went in to kiss his lips but, perhaps thankfully, my glasses fell off (I'm not sure he noticed the kiss attempt though). What do you recommend I do and what should I think and keep in mind?
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People have already advised you that you're being too intense. Just let things happen naturally. A lasting relationship can't endure such intensity.
if you "speak to him about my feelings" after one meeting you will scare him off.
I agree with Count-A-Strong let things happen at a normal pace, slow down and see
what he has to say, he might not even want a second meet.Worse thing you can do is bombard him with phone calls and texts, he is supposed to chase you.
Question Author
Okay, but how do I stop being so intense? It's all good to say "stop being so intense" but how can I actually stop it?

Well, I've now decided to have a little break (will that reduce this intensity?) from him to ground myself and to try and regain control over my emotions. Well, it's difficult to let things happen at a 'normal pace'... what is a 'normal pace' anyway? But fine, I'll let him start the conversation next time (if there's nothing, it's good as it allows me to regain control). Thanks for your answers.
I think the others are right, lov3shy - you are imagining yourself into a far deeper relationship than is actually there at the moment, because you want to, (I notice you call him by his name which is maybe not a good idea on a forum like this, I hope this is not his real name.) he too needs some time now, he has met you and needs to decide whether or not HE wants it to continue - you chasing up could drive him away. Leave it - let it be - following up so soon will look desperate.
normal pace is a trot and you are galloping ! slow down , I have visions of this young man running down the road to get away from you and you chasing after him saying come back !
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Question Author
A break as in no communication to allow myself to calm down emotionally, which has worked so far. I have done as has been advised and I have decided that he will be the starter of the next conversation, which will work to keep me calm and to allow him to start when he is ready, although I know that he likes me too, I just had to do something.
I am 18 (and please spare any patronising comments because, yes, I am young but I am not stupid, I am just a teen and, like any other teen, there's a lot of things on my mind). But thanks again for the answers, they do help.

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