How Do I Move On

[milly143]

I don't really want to put this on here but I don't really have anywhere or anyone else I can express myself to.

My boyfriend of 3 years called time on our relationship on Sunday and I'm frankly a complete mess. We had some problems last year and had a short break from each other but he persued me and convinced me he had made a huge mistake, so we resolved our problems and had been so happy together again that we were not only finally going to sort out moving in together but he even convinced me he was about to propose, making me look at rings and getting my finger sized, all unprompted. Then suddenly over the last couple of weeks he has been offish with me. Not wanting to discuss things about getting things moving with the house, etc. I could feel this was coming and had several bad dreams last week about it but even on Saturday night, after he had been out drinking, he called me on his way home to tell me how much he loved me and that he missed me, calling me all the little cutesy names, etc so when I woke on Sunday morning I thought it would be ok, until I saw him Sunday night and he finished it. He gave me the reason that he wants to move back to Australia to be with his Grandparents and because he was so much happier living there. But he continues to say he still loves me. I just really don't get it.

He has so much stuff at my house that you'd be forgiven for thinking he lived there and he is supposed to be coming round at some point to sort it all out but I'm finding it so hard to deal with. I had all these ideas of how our future was going to be. Even when I was in hospital a few weeks ago, he was the perfect boyfriend. There was no sign of any doubt in his mind. Quite the opposite.

We've both been really stressed out with various things over the last month and I thought we had just been taking it all out on each other but I don't see any coming back from this. He seems to have his mind made up. I just feel like I've lost everything good I had and was going to have. It's only been a couple of days and I miss him so much. I really don't know what to do with myself.

I don't want to be angry with him and I don't want to fall out with him. We live so close to each other and have so many people between us that being nice to each other still is the only way it can be. I just want know how to make it hurt less.

Please don't make any suggestions that there is obviously someone else involved because I don't have any reason to believe there is and I don't want to hear it. I just want some advice.

[milly143]

Anyone?

[Ric.ror]

I just want to give you a big hug now
If you can go and see your mum - she will help you through this
It may take a while but you can do it

[lala1984]

Can't offer any advice Milly but I know how you are feeling I'm in exactly the same boat as you and I know it is so hard to lose someone you love and cherish so much. Big hugs

[Ric.ror]

Hugs to you too Lala
Help each other through this

[lala1984]

Thanks Ric.ror my ex did treat me like a bit of a idiot sometimes but you can't help who you fall in love with. Anytime you do fancy a chat Milly I'll gladly have one

[ummmm]

Go to Australia with him?

Milly - you're a beautiful young woman. It's his loss....

[milly143]

Thanks to both of you.

I wish going to Mum was an option, but sadly she's a bloody car crash who I no longer see. I have sisters but I've only been able to bring myself to tell one of them. Nobody else knows about it yet. Don't want to tell anyone.

[ummmm]

Milly - It's going to be hard....but honest to God...you'll find someone better...you will xx

[lala1984]

Exactly the same here Milly I still have not told anyone and it's been a couple of weeks now. I have no one to confide in, it's just horrible at the moment I'm hardly sleeping or eating I've lost weight etc etc. It's just hard when you both have all these plans and you can see a future then it's just taken away and you don't know what to do about anything anymore

[milly143]

That's the thing. I don't want to find anyone else. I am so in love with him.

I'm sorry you are going through the same thing Lala. I don't get pleasure knowing somebody also feels like this.

[milly143]

Ummm, sorry I hadn't seen your first post befor I responded. Thank you.

[ummmm]

You don't at the moment.....

Been there, done that, Milly....It's a slow process....just always have in the back of your head....you will be fine xx

[woofgang]

milly the way you move on is to go out and do stuff and literally overlay the painful memories with other ones. If you sit around thinking about the painful bits, you are in effect, engraving them more deeply into your memory just like revising for an exam. do things which take your mind off the memories and create new memories and the old ones will become less vivid.

[milly143]

I don't really have many friends, so I don't have anyone I can turn to and help me like getting out and about. I'm quite introvert and don't really have much of a social life, so I'm not really going to find it easy to meet someone new. We shared absolutely everything together. There was nothing we didn't know about each other and I don't think I could find that with someone else, not that I'm even thinking of that at the moment.

[woofgang]

go to the library, go shopping, do jigsaw puzzles...anything to make you concentrate on something else.

[ummmm]

I'm introvert.....

You'll be fine Milly..

You're young, you're beautiful, you have everything going for you.

Grieve the end of your relationship.....always keep in the back of your head....'you will be fine'

You will be....honestly xx

[chinadog]

Milly, I understand how you're feeling as my hubby left me a few weeks ago after 29 years of marriage. It came as a complete shock and I was in a right state as I could'nt imagine life without him. In these past few weeks both me and my son are getting used to OH not being around. I could'nt even sleep in our double bed for almost 3 weeks but happy to say I changed the bedroom around and Im back in it sleeping quite well. The hurt a breakup brings is terrible but I promise you will start to feel better and more in control. Let the ters flow it's natures way of cleansing you. Good luck.

[mccfluff]

sorry to hear this milly, its so hard now but you will find a way though xx

[joeluke]

You may not want to hear it but.......

.......he's met someone else

[flyingnun]

whatever you do don't blame yourself!Perhaps someone has said something and he may need time to sort things out in his head, give him the space, remember, it feels like the end of the world, but its not. Be nice, but don't be easy, make him want you, by showing him what he is missing.I know it really hurts.