should i tell my ex how i feel?

[scm1990]

i really want to be with my ex boyfriend.
6 months ago he broke up with me because i can't do pda's - i'm shy so just find it really hard.
we were together a year and had a long distance relationship because he is at college too far away to make frequent train journeys back and forth.
over summer break we've spoken quite a lot, nearly all the time i start the conversation, but mostly he continues it, and often makes hints that he likes me.
he said we should talk, but when we did we had both drunk too much and he ended up kissing me instead. i suggested we should do it another time, but the next day he didn't even answer me.
he is leaving again soon, and im really confused.
i want to tell him how i feel about the whole situation, but im not sure if i should as he will be going away again soon?

[China Doll]

http://www.theanswerb.../Question1048469.html

^^^ Read your answers there.

[boxtops]

No need to start a new thread, scm - just post again in the last one about this.... http://www.theanswerb.../Question1048469.html

[boxtops]

snap china ;-)

[Noraq]

I don't know what pda's are.

[ummmm]

Public displays of affection.

[boxtops]

who started calling them that? and why did anyone need to?!

[Noraq]

Oh right, ..thank you Ummm. =)

[China Doll]

Don't know boxy but I do know I don't like to see tounge twister with grope-age in front of me on the escalator! I think there's different levels.

[boxtops]

Agree, china - affectionate is one thing, groping is something else altogether.

[ummmm]

Nor do I.

Holding hands is fine. We do that without thinking. A peck is fine as well.

[China Doll]

I think over the top displays can look like you're marking your territory. Maybe I'm just not very romantic.

[ummmm]

I'm not very romantic either :-)

[boxtops]

Obviously scm's chap feels that unless she's hanging on to him all the time, nobody will know that they are in a relationship. Hard lines - OH and I went to a party last night, and spent most of the evening on opposite sides of the room talking to different people. Doesn't mean we're not happy together!

[China Doll]

I'm romantic in my head... just not in public! :c)

Not necessarily, if she's very shy, she might even find it hard holding hands or freeze up in public (generally as well as romantically) which could come across as aloof and uncaring. I think it's easier for older people to deal with but young couples (especially long distance), then I would question the effort involved in maintaining that the relationship. But then I'm probably sounding a bit harsh because a) I'm grumpy naturally, b) I think that it all sounds terribly serious when it should be fun and c) I've never been a shy person so probably don't relate very well to the poster.

[ummmm]

I'm not even romantic in my head...

I am shy though.

[China Doll]

As long as it's not the kind of shy in which even if people spend ages putting you at ease, and go out of their way to be kind and gentle to you only to be met with a brick wall so people stop trying as they think maybe they're making you feel worse, only to then find that said shy person has actually been bitching that they're never included in anything or spoken to, and it's because everyone else is a loud mouth... cause that's not shy, that's just attention seeking and it's fecking irritating.

Not that I have any major gripe about taht sort of behavour... ahem...

[ummmm]

Lol...I'm not that type of shy. I just don't like strangers. I have got better with age.

I don't know how I managed living and working in a pub.

[China Doll]

That's easy cause you just put on act/performance as it's part of that lifestyle, like smiling when you're sad etc.

I've known people be shy and do the above and I just feel like shouting 'look, accept you've got a problem and deal with it or else don't and be permentantly whining your life through which you seem to enjoy so crack on'... I'm generally classed as pretty approachable and relaxed so more than happy to make sure a newbie is properly introduced, is part of convo etc but I'm not a contortionist so bending over backwards is not going to happen.

Saying taht, I don't like strangers particularly... I'm just not uncomfortable around them and quite at ease. I try not rein in my sense of humour until I'm sure of the market though... learnt that after telling a paedophile joke only to find I was talking to a bunch of primary school teachers, I could have shat in their handbags and be made more welcome :-/

[ummmm]

lol...