To text or not to text...?

[Bambiagain]

My relationship has been rocky for some time and on Friday morning, at breakfast, one of those silly little things occurred that was my straw breaking the camel's back moment and I just burst into floods of tears. I think he said something to me briefly, but I didn't hear what it was (as you don't in the circumstances) and thereafter he ignored me, walked past me as I was howling and went outside to do some work. Later I had to go out and I needed his help with something before I did - he very huffily came and helped me before going outside again and wouldn't have spoken to me when I left had I not spoken to him. I knew I wouldn't be seeing him again over the weekend, probably not until tomorrow (we don't live together - one of the issues as he's been messing me around for a long time), and I asked whether I would see him on Tuesday (tomorrow). His answer was "I don't know". This despite the fact that we were planning to go and see a singer we both want to see tomorrow evening (ironically enough as a sort of semi anniversary celebration). We have the tickets booked to collect on the door and it is a sell-out.

Normally when he's not here he does at least call mornings and evenings and we often speak more than that during the day. Since I last saw him I haven't heard a dicky bird. And I have reached the state that I'm not going to call him. Which leaves the issue of tomorrow evening. I spoke to a friend at the weekend and asked her whether, if he doesn't get in touch, she would come with me. He and I have both seen this singer before, but my friend hasn't and would love to.

So, my dilemma is this: I have told my friend I shall let her know this evening one way or the other. She has to make plans if she's coming and it's not fair to keep her hanging on. However, knowing my OH (if he still considers himself to be that) he is quite likely to turn up late tomorrow expecting to come along and be highly miffed if he finds out at that point what I have done. So do I text him now, tell him he has to let me know asap one way or the other, text him and tell him I've given away his ticket, or do I simply tell my friend I'll pick her up tomorrow evening and let him turn up and find out then? The second and third options are, I think, definitely potential relationship breakers, however I would feel extremely mean to have dangled this carrot in front of my friend's face and then to let her down. She would be understanding (although my friends are of the opinion that I should get rid of him!) but of course disappointed, and I don't want to upset her.

Your opinions would be welcomed.

[albaqwerty]

I'd forgotten about the restoration. You each have emotions and finances tied up in it. It must be so stressful (what a dumb thing to say, alba, of course it is)

Please look after yourself ( I must tootle for now) xx

[Bambiagain]

Thank you Albaqwerty, and everyone else.

[joko]

it may be best to text under the circumstances as phoning my develop into a row
there is nothing wrong with texting, any more than writing him a letter would be wrong

but, dont use text speak, write it in a polite manner, not too blunt as it can seem rude in a text, but asking him outright what you want

something simple like

hiya, just wondered if you were still coming to the gig? id love it if you were but i understand if you would rather not at the moment, but let me know as its a shame to waste the ticket and jane likes singer too and would love to come. thanks bambi :o)

if not could you just be straihgt with your mate, tell her the truth, so she knows that she may be let down at the last minute... what plans must she make? are they ones that once made will be a pain to cancel?

[Bambiagain]

Hello Joko. For your info, I texted - no reply. My friend, who knows the details and would have been understanding if he's reappeared, came along with me last night and we had a good time. The OH, however, has aparently vanished off the face of the planet (probably with his mother again, I suspect), not answering me at all. And I'm too old to understand txt spk; I hate it!!!

[Craftypig]

how was the concert?

[Bambiagain]

Craftypig - the concert was good, thanks. My friend enjoyed it too. The OH got in touch again and we went out for a meal at the weekend and talked. He is currently thinking things over!