dilemma about keys my ex still has

[peason77]

on the night my chap broke up with me (about the 5th time, sucker i know :( he walked out of my house and locked me in and took my house keys. I'd like my keys back really, i can't afford to have my locks changed, i don't fear him but i don't like the idea of anyone having my keys. I gave him all his belongings back that night, but find it strange that he kept hold of my keys (he knew he had them because he locked me in!)i'm not contacting him, of that much i'm sure, i don't want him thinking i'm looking for a reason to contact him, still it bugs me why he would do such a thing. Its not hard for him to post them if he doesnt want to see me. should i just forget it?

[peason77]

thanks for your advice people. Yes he locked me in, which i did think was weird. He has front and back door keys and i've already fitted locks on the inside of the house (which bent due to my rubbish DIY! lol) and i've got a lock on my back gate now. I rent the house so its not mine. My landlady would freak if she knew. That freaks me out about the thought of him in the house when i get home. On a serious note, i don't think he'd come near me, after all he walked out on me, so why would he want to? but why keep my keys? especially after locking me in, its not like he forgot he had them! nowt as queer as folk i guess. :)

[joko]

you must just ask him for them...who cares if he thinks you are looking for an excuse? just ask him...or send a friend

however i would juist change the locks...buy the locks and fit them yourself or ask a pal to fit them...they are not that expensive

the fact that he locked you in is indeed weird and a bit controlling (or were you rowing, and trying to stop him going? he may have just been trying to tsop you following him)
the fact that hes like this ,i would not want to risk him getting a spare set cut and playing games

[peason77]

thanks joko, no i wasn't following him, i was calm and remained in the lounge whilst he walked. He knew i wouldn't follow him. He's never locked me in the house before, even when he left me sleeping in bed in the morning! very odd behaviour. Part of me is wondering whether its a control thing, i mean what does it take to post the keys back to me? I'm hardly ever in so i wouldnt see him. Another part of me is wondering whether it'll be an excuse to contact me if in the future he wants to hook up ONCE again! huh. Thanks for all your advice peeps i appreciate it

[chattykathy]

I was going to say if it's a UPVC door all you have to do is change the barrel. I did it myself, cost £7 all in.

[joko]

sounds mad, but could it just be that he did it out of habit in his angry state... you know like on automatic pilot....?

because id be concerned he had some reason for wanting you to be unable to escape... such as setting a fire etc, but then changed his mind once hed calmed down... everyone has a 'side' you dont know about...

i know it sounds mad, but it does happen and the phrase 'hell hath no fury...' applies to men too...

sorry to worry you, but better safe than sorry... for peace of mind, change them...

[peason77]

flip me joko! i may well change my locks when you put it like that! thanks :)

[bednobs]

seriously, it's really really cheap to change your own locks

[joko]

it will also show him that you mean business and that he cant just do this sort of thing to you over an over and waltz back in when it suits...take back the power...

[Eve]

Did you get it sorted? If posting the keys then just make sure he doesn't post them to your home address.

[peason77]

not sorted yet unfortunately. I'll need to try and do it myself, as i don't have anyone to ask really, but i'm working constantly at the mo, infact i've just finished a shift so i'm trying to find time to do it, along with the 101 other things i've got to do, i need to make it a priority though. It may be easier to text him but a) i cant guarantee he hasn't got copies done b) it gives him power c) i don't want him even thinking that i'm fretting about it, because that means i'm thinking of HIM!