and now comes a letter from the ex

[peason77]

today i received a letter from my ex. I feel a deep sadness within. It was only a short letter, but basically it said his recent behaviour towards me was due to the fact he was nearing a breakdown and nearly hospitalised. Since the day he walked out on me he has felt nervous and vunerable, and realises his mind will never settle, therefore he will always have negative consequences on those who are dear to him. He recognises he's heading for a lonely and isolated future. He asks me to understand the torment of his soul and begs me to forgive the negative influence he has had on my life (i'm a shadow of my former self). He ends by wishing me the best and thanking me for the good times. I was doing so well, and this letter has set me back a little, as i'm thinking of him now, and the state he might be in. (he does make a habit of dropping me for approx 2 months then resurfacing as i refuse to answer his 'forgiveness' texts until i finally give in. I wish he hadn't sent the letter as i feel so sad. What am i supposed to do? just ignore it? (he obviously isn't making moves to reconcile which is ok) but do i acknowledge the letter or leave it? I don't want him to think i'm a heartless cow, but i have to think of myself. There is the possibility he will contact me again if i don't acknowledge his forgiveness (he does like to play games, but somehow i feel this time is different) sorry for posting questions so much, but i don't have anyone to talk to and you people seem to give sound advice. I would appreciate as much advice as you are willing to give. :)

[peason77]

wow, i really like talking to you lot. You really make me see things that my brain is too clouded to see at present. Although i believe this time is different, i'm also inclined to believe that acknowledgement is an invitation to a man like him. I've had the night to think about it, and i think he wrote the letter because he's never tried that approach before and he knows i'm a softie and likely to read it instead of delete a text. I don't know, he plays with my head so much, yet i pity where he is. I've never experienced a breakdown, but his letter was well composed,and i question whether anyone who's really that messed up is able to put pen to paper and write a 'heartfelt, forgiveness' letter are they? I also think by him stating he realises he's heading for a lonely isolated future he's implying he'll be alone and not seeking anyone else, reverse psychology perhaps?

[grasscarp]

I have just remembered something similar years ago. I had finally got rid of somebody who drained me completely and gave me years of hell. He wrote a letter to me which was completely out of character, and the only letter I got in 7 years. (mind you in those days we didnt have mobile phones or texts). I read it in the back of a car while somebody was driving me somewhere. I tore it into little pieces and threw it bit by bit out of the car. I would suggest you do something equally final with this letter, otherwise you are going to keep reading it.

[jakep]

There comes a time when you have to become completely selfish and put yourself first. You only get one life and have to make it as good as you are able. In my opinion this man is manipulating you. Do not make any further contact with him. Throw the letter away and don't open any more. IF he 'does anything' it is his responsibility NOT yours. Good luck and chin up.

[maggiebee]

Too little, too late - move on. Sounds like mind games to me and you really have to think about your own health and wellbeing.

[Slapshot]

Never go backwards, it never works out once that initial love and trust are gone.

My wife did that with her first hubby after he promised her the world about his booze habits, his fling and the broken nose he gave her......the night she left she had eight broken ribs broken nose and needed 30 odd stitches in cuts.

I'm not suggesting he's like that but even a tentative amount of trust can lead to all sorts, move on.

[peason77]

hi peeps, i'm inclined to believe it is mind games, and he knows i'm weak. Not anymore. :)

[Teddy_boy]

Read , digest , and dispose of. The past belongs in the past , enjoy your life and move on.My thoughts are with you.