Crosswords0 min ago
Farting
38 Answers
My ex would have died if i ever did in front of him. I would have to!!
Im not a windy person and woulnt even pas wind infront of anyone tbh - my mum and dad even say theyve never heard me!
My friend farted by accident infront of her new man months ago and was mortified!!!!
Personally i just woulnt ever!!!!!!!!
I dont really mind if the guy does but id seriously rather they didnt.....
Whats your thoughts!?? Xx
Im not a windy person and woulnt even pas wind infront of anyone tbh - my mum and dad even say theyve never heard me!
My friend farted by accident infront of her new man months ago and was mortified!!!!
Personally i just woulnt ever!!!!!!!!
I dont really mind if the guy does but id seriously rather they didnt.....
Whats your thoughts!?? Xx
Answers
Best Answer
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Why is that word so funny? anyway I'm like you, I've never done it willingly in front of anyone including partners. On the occasions I couldn't help it I wanted the ground to swallow me up. My OH is quite free, easy and loud with his offerings - I find it an odd mix of very funny but extremely unattractive.
old newspaper headline http://is.gd/gfB0so
-- answer removed --
Just found this while looking for a poem about farting that my nan used to say, I'm still laughing.
Here's a bit of a twist:
Oh what a sleekit, horrible beastie
Lurks in yer stomach efter a feastie
As ye sit doon amang yer kin,
There starts to stir a michty wind.
The neeps and tatties and mushie peas,
Stert workin like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin' wi' the sonsie face
Will hiv ye blawin' a' ower the place.
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A?'body's gonnae huv tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle,
It's like a bullet oot a rifle.
Haud yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try tae stop the leakin' air.
Shift yersel' fae cheek tae cheek
An' pray to God it disnae reek.
But a' yer efforts go assunder,
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder.
It ricochets aroon' the room,
Michty me! A sonic boom!
God almighty, It fairly reeks
(I hope a hivnae' Sugar ma breeks)
Straight tae the bog ah better scurry
Aw whit the hell, It's no ma worry.
A'body roon'aboot me's chokin'
Wan or twa are nearly bokin'.
Ah'll feel much better fur a while,
Ah cannae help but raise a smile.
'Twis him!! Ah shout, wi' accusin' glower.
Alas, tae late. He's jist keeled ower.
'Ye mingin' clert!' They shout and stare.
Ah amnae welcome ony mair.
Where e'er ye be, Let yer wind gang free
(Sounds jist the job fir thee an me)
Whit a fuss at Rabbies pairty
Ower the sake o' wan wee ferty.
Anonymous
Here's a bit of a twist:
Oh what a sleekit, horrible beastie
Lurks in yer stomach efter a feastie
As ye sit doon amang yer kin,
There starts to stir a michty wind.
The neeps and tatties and mushie peas,
Stert workin like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin' wi' the sonsie face
Will hiv ye blawin' a' ower the place.
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A?'body's gonnae huv tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle,
It's like a bullet oot a rifle.
Haud yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try tae stop the leakin' air.
Shift yersel' fae cheek tae cheek
An' pray to God it disnae reek.
But a' yer efforts go assunder,
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder.
It ricochets aroon' the room,
Michty me! A sonic boom!
God almighty, It fairly reeks
(I hope a hivnae' Sugar ma breeks)
Straight tae the bog ah better scurry
Aw whit the hell, It's no ma worry.
A'body roon'aboot me's chokin'
Wan or twa are nearly bokin'.
Ah'll feel much better fur a while,
Ah cannae help but raise a smile.
'Twis him!! Ah shout, wi' accusin' glower.
Alas, tae late. He's jist keeled ower.
'Ye mingin' clert!' They shout and stare.
Ah amnae welcome ony mair.
Where e'er ye be, Let yer wind gang free
(Sounds jist the job fir thee an me)
Whit a fuss at Rabbies pairty
Ower the sake o' wan wee ferty.
Anonymous
When I was a child we lived in a terraced house, when my dad had his funny head on, he would fart on every step coming downstairs. Mum and I would be in hysterics, don't know how he managed it! She would shout to him
if you broccoli those underpants, you will wash them by hand made me laugh all the more!!
I can do it when and where I want living on my own...bliss!!
if you broccoli those underpants, you will wash them by hand made me laugh all the more!!
I can do it when and where I want living on my own...bliss!!