How can I stop his football obsession ruining our relationship?

[c4clarabell]

Hi,
I really need some advice as I am at my wits end with my boyfriend and his obsession with football.
We have been together 2.5 years and have a 6 month old daughter. I have a 4 year old son from a previous relationship and he has an 11 year old son too who stays with us most weekends.
For the most part he is a lovely guy. He is a brilliant dad and the kids adore him but the minute football season starts my life is a misery.
The minute he steps through the door after work during the week (about 7pm) the football goes on and I'm lucky to get 2 words out of him. while the football is on the telly, he is also playing fantasy football on the laptop and texting his friends about how the match is going, tactics etc.He will watch football or football commentary until it finishes at about 10 then play fifa on his games console until 1.30 in the morning. This is normally about 3 nights a week Monday to Friday.
He will usually pick his son up on Friday night so I go up to bed at 9 to give them some time together (playing fifa). After his son goes to bed at 10 he will continue playing again until the early hours.
His son is football mad too and plays for a team both Saturdays and Sundays which, with travel to and from the games, takes about 4 hours out of each day of our weekend.
When they come back theywill happily watch 3 football matches back to back. It is literally on from the minute i wake up until i go back to bed.
When we first got together he told me he did like football but that it wasnt the be all and end all, which I was glad about because I HATE it!
Since then, he got into fifa and had sports channels added and things have got progressively worse.
I have tried telling him how miserable it is making me. Some weekends I dont even want to go home and have to find things to do away from the house because I cant stand being around it. His attitude to this is that he doesnt drink, smoke, do drugs etc so I should stop giving him a hard time.
I have asked him to comprimise and suggested that i would not complain about it being on throughout the week or a Saturday if we could have a football free day on Sunday (bar his sons training) and keep the rest of the day as family time. He wouldnt agree to this as says Sundays are when most of the games are on and recording it isnt the same. I asked himto suggest a comprimise but his reply to that is that he just wouldnt watch as much, which through countless arguments and past experience ,I know will not happen.
I have gotten to the point now where I am so miserable about it I have removed the sports channels from our tv package. They will be off in 30 days. I do think he may leave if this is the case as he says i am trying to control him and he wont put up with it.
Idont want him to leave but I can not live like this anymore. Am I being unreasonable? I Just don't know what to do :-

[ummmm]

Yes, Tony, They can....but only when the get something out of it.

[tonyav]

LOL ^^^^

[murraymints]

I'd set aside another telly for him..not the lounge ..if he has to drag himself up and down stairs for drinks etc and not have the comfort of a couch he may change his viewing habits a bit...you have my sympathy..my ex was the same over golf...

[caliceg]

thats who he is you can't just stop his football obsession and if you dont like it then im not sure if you 2 are right for eachother maybe just try sitting and watching a game with him maybe you will like it too or try to arrange to go out somewhere when a match is on. ust try to be more tollerant.

[Messi_Ten]

Try to learn about the offside law, you can then discuss the game on equal terms.

[Canary42]

"For the most part he is a lovely guy"

Concentrate on that part then, there's many who have far less.

[chaptazbru]

Personally I could never stay with a bloke who lives, breathes and eats football as I hate it. Luckily my OH isn't a fan either. I really don't think he'll change so you have to decide if you can live without him and bring your children up alone - what is the best alternative for you? I will also add that I think he's a right selfish pr*ck, but I think you may already know that.

Love your answer star.

[joeluke]

The OP joins the endless line of women who fail to realise that they'll always come second best to football

[starone]

ummmm - sorry I have been such a long time replying. Regarding the baby - I know plenty of single mums with babies just as young and as she also has a 4 year old by a previous relationship she should be used to it. If they have been together for two and a half years then her other child must only have been eighteen months or so when they moved in together.

[EDDIE51]

You are Lucky clarabell , I heard of a guy who would only have sex if it was 45 mins 'each way' with a 15 min half time break .

[askyourgran]

You have my sympathy, join the club. OH is a complete moron with sport footie, horseracing, darts, snooker you name it. What annoys me most is when he peers round you when you take his cup of tea.

[tinkerbell23]

My granda was the best man at his bros wedding.
Went to mass
Football stadium
And turned up later for the drinks cos he just couldnt miss
His team!!! THATS shocking!!

My communion party had all the men in the next room watching a game LOL we did win 3-0 though!

I come from a big footie family so im usAed
To it
But you are not happy and shouldnt have to stay unhappy :0(

Bad move cancelling it though- defo an argument :0(

He will go out & watch elsewhere! X

[shaneystar2]

Same here .Mr S and the boys are football crazy ....football mad and football it has taken away any little sense they had .
I pay no attention to them whatsoever .
We are a German /British family too so you just can imagine .
During the last lot ..euro thingy or something ..I had a German flag draped over the mantelpiece and a constantly ringing telephone :)

[weecalf]

Tell him all this looking at football is starting to make him look like rooney of the losing team tonight ,If that dosent make him think I dont know what will

[Smowball]

At least you know where he is!

[joeluke]

'What annoys me most is when he peers round you when you take his cup of tea'

Annoyingly miss an important piece of action because your inconsiderate Mrs walks in front of the TV?

Women who are switched on find ways of delivering drinks/food to their footy watching men that doesn't interrupt the game



Women also tend to get rather annoyed if you peer round them to watch the game whilst having sex

[Quizmonkey]

You can't communicate. You seem to have nothing in common. You have no life together. Irreconcilable differences. Face it - it's over.

[pizza]

No wonder you haven't replied c4clara because the answers you got off here were sh*t
You know hand on heart he's not the guy for you, you said for the most part he's a lovely guy but he isn't making you happy.
You are the one looking to compromise he isn't, he's a selfish guy and yes you have a guy but this relationship isn't quality .
You know it's time to move on x
.

[ummmm]

Because he watches football? Unbelievable.

[sfby]

No ummmmm - because he lives and breathes football to the exclusion of anything that might be termed a normal life for anyone involved with him. The guy's a selfish prat who is happy with his other half treading on eggshells all the time in case she distracts him from his obsession.
Get out while you can!