Is going celibate right?

[MsAngel2012]

I recently decided to go celibate until I find the right the guy. I'll admit I've slept with a few too many guys but I was only chasing love and affection and thought I could only get that through sex. I realised what I was doing to myself and that it was very un healthly I come from an emotional abusive household which affected the relationships I've had. I finally realised what I was doing to myself having sex with these guy made me feel wanted I eventually got counselling which made me realise why I did it and that what I did wasn't my fault I didn't know any better I had no idea about relationships . I had to learn a lesson the hard way which as made me a lot wiser. I decided to go celibate recently I want sex to feel much more special and bonding with someone but I don't know if its the right thing to do.

[mike11111]

Deciding to go celibate after your disclosures is like saying, "I've decided to become a virgin again!"

[ummmm]

No it's not. Nothing like that.

[mazie]

Nothing at all like it mike

[tonyav]

Watch it mike, that could bring the subject of keeping your tights on up again lol.

[NOX]

No it's not Mike, it's her giving herself time to stabilise so that she's not needing sex for insecurity issues she's wanting it because it's the right decision for her. I think it's a sensible thing to do, and can only benefit you long term, however as Andy says leave your options open for when it is right.

[mazie]

Oi, watch it mike, I ain't no sisterhood ;o)

What NOX said is spot on.

[NOX]

I'm a bloke Mike, just one that actually uses his brain.

[chaptazbru]

Don't always agree with NOX, but I do this time .......

[woofgang]

By me waiting to establish the relationship before sex is not celibate, its normal. When I was a teenager a million years ago, my Mum said to me "Don't share your body with someone you wouldn't share your toothbrush with."

[AB Editor]

Afternoon Mike, do try and be civil.

[joeluke]

Shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted

How will you know you've found 'the one' without having sex with him first?

[ummmm]

It's about establishing a relationship first and not having one night stands or friends with benefits.

How many people know they're sexually compatible straight away? A good sex life happens over time, imo.

[joeluke]

What if you find 'the one' then find out he's a total dud in the sack?

Ooops

[ummmm]

Then you teach them.

Different people like different things anyway so there's always a bit of learning as you go.

[joeluke]

I agree ummmm, but what if he's 'the one' on paper but there's no sexual chemistry at all?

[jomifl]

It is a lot easier to find a partner for sex than to find real long term friend. Decide which you want and go for it but don't confuse the two.

[ummmm]

Well he won't be 'the one' then. You can want to sleep with someone but abstain for a while. I've done that in every relationship I've ever had. It's not too difficult.