I want kids he doesn't

[Nay37]

I am 37 and my bf is 30. We've been together 4 years. We have had our differences. I have a 9 yr old from a previous relationship but I would like a child with my bf, because I love him so much, but he isn't ready and has said he doesn't want kids. He is a great dad to my 9yr old and I don't understand why he doubts himself so much. Ive said to myself I will wait for him but what if when he does decide he is ready and it is too late for me. (I had an abortion 2 yrs ago because it was the wrong time cos he was in the middle of exams etc). I kinda regret that decision now.

[ummmm]

It's not something you can force on someone. Having a child is a lifelong commitment, if he doesn't want that then you'll have to accept it or find someone who does.

[NOX]

What Ummm said. If he's dead set against kids ever, then you need to cut your losses and move on or accept it'll never happen with him. In any event you need to have a very deep talk with him.

[Sqad]

Well, you certainly need him " on board" if you want his children.........however I have a certain amount of sympathy with him as he knows what it is like to have children, as he is a good Dad to your 9year old and perhaps he feels that that should be enough for both of you.

I have known children, break up a relationship and having children for the male is not as big a deal as for the woman.

So, your relationship is fine, you have one child to which he is " a good Dad"............your call if you want to change this.

[jackthehat]

I think you have pretty much exhausted all possible responses by asking this question for the third time........

[jd_1984]

My situation is similar.
I am with a girl who has a child from another relationship.
When I met her I hadnt considered children at all. But, because I love her so much the fact that she has a child didnt put me off, I wanted to be with her so embraced family life and we are doing really well.
It is an interesting dynamic, the way we all regard each other and admitedly the situation forms the basis of some rows in the house. For example - I am too strict with the child and I dont read his behaviour as a parent would or could etc....
She keeps saying "when we have our own you will realise...."
But I am not in that place yet, we have discussed it at length and I am so glad we can be so honest with each other. I know she wants a second child but I know that being together is more important to us. Perhaps one day I will want a child and maybe so too will your man. I am a similar age to your guy, never expected to be a father, if at all, until I am mid 30s

[Purple_Popple]

Why oh why are you asking the same old question again ??
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