I Think My Bf Has Cheated On Me

[Nay37]

In June my Bf went on a friend's stag do. He didn't say much about it and I didn't think to ask cos I trust him. At least I thought I did. Well the other day he left his phone lying around and I did a terrible thing by looking through his messages and there was a load of messages between him and a girl (he has female friends but I didn't know this one, he'd never mentioned her either). Well I only read some of them cos I couldn't bring myself to read all of it Well in the messages she said "you toad you didn't tell me you had a gf" and he replied "I felt a real connection with you so I went for it". I then asked him whether he would tell me if he cheated and did he meet any girls on the stag do. He said he would tell me if he had and he hasn't so far. He then said he met some American girls but nothing happened. What do you think?

[Zacs-Master]

I think he's dipped his wick.

[sandyRoe]

toad in the hole?

[boxtops]

Either you trust him or you don't. Either it's important to you if he played away on a drunk stag night, or it's not. Sounds suspicious, but only you can make up your mind what to do about it. Either you stick with him and believe him, or you give him the heave.

[boxtops]

Here's more from nay on this subject http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Relationships-and-Dating/Question1262879.html

[Sqad]

Bingo.....

[friedgreentomato]

If you trusted him, why did you go through his phone?

[happyone2]

I think the issue is whether this was a drunken one off or an indication of something else................ I would wonder if continuing with texts after the event does not suggest a one of drunken event .............and the fact that he didn't delete the texts ( which any subtle philanderer would do ) , makes me wonder if he wanted you to find the texts..................

I think you know he has erred deliberately...............he wants you to confront him, he wants you to know.........................believe me, if he did it and didn't want you to know he would have done that and nothing would have changed for you because you wouldn't have known.

The important thing is how you deal with this now..........and denial is not necessarily a good idea.........although understandably a comfortable one !!

Good luck

[DTCwordfan]

toad in the hole - please I don't like brown sauce with mine.

[Nay37]

Thanks for your comments Happyone, I did ask him about it without letting him know I'd read his texts and he said nothing happend, besides if something had happened he would have deleted the messages anyway wouldn't he?

[murraymints]

....hmmm...so I went for it....doesn't sound like nowt to me ! I'd bin him ..he'll do it again given the chance...

[EvianBaby]

Not necessarily. Men can be utterly useless at being cheats. Unless they want to be caught. Or they don't think their girlfriend is looking through their phone.

[Nay37]

An up-date on my situation, I confronted him about it he denied it then I went on to his fb (which he knew I was doing) cos I said I was going to write on his wall and saw this girl and I asked him who she was and he wouldn't tell me. He said he has loads of friends that he didn't really know on FB. He said he was fed up of being accused of cheating when he hasn't done anything. I didn't tell him that I had read these text messages (maybe I should have) Anyway today he left his phone down stairs when he went for a shower and I looked again and he had deleted them. Do you think he did something? We had a huge row and he threatened to leave. I got really upset and begged him not to cos I do love him, too much probably. Later we were talking and I asked if he had her phone number and he said no, which I know was a lie. What should I do.

[murraymints]

He is lying...you know he is lying...he has panicked after you spoke to him and tried to cover up by deleting texts...if it were me I'd tell him I'd read them and know he's lying...then I'd pack his bags for him...you will always be checking on him , you will always doubt everything he says...up to you hunni if you can live with that...I couldn't ...