What Would You Define As Cheating

[Nay37]

Do you think that trying to kiss someone else but the other person saying no is cheating? The intention was there!

[Old_Geezer]

Saying, "No", is always cheating.
Women are such teases.

[Nay37]

My bf went on a stag do in Estonia and met 3 american girls. Him and his stag mates went out for a few drinks with the girls and he got really drunk and walked one of them back to her hotel and tried to kiss her and she said no and that she has a boyfriend.

[Old_Geezer]

Intent is not the same as doing something. Were it so there would be more people in gaol that outside.
What of someone who intended to shoplift but then saw the camera so didn't. The intent was there so they are guilty of shoplifting ?
What of someone who intended to vandalise a public building, but then saw someone coming so didn't ?. The intent was there so they are guilty of vandalism ?
What of someone who got cut up on the road by some idiot and momentary wanted to kill them, but then their conscience took control and so they didn't ?. The intent was there so they are guilty of murder ?

Anyway there are kisses and kisses. Something passionate one might get annoyed about, something small less so.

[LittleSquidge]

If you would be uncomfortable with your partner watching you doing it (in terms of actions with someone else), then to me, it's considered cheating.
- I wouldn't want my partner to watch me trying to kiss someone else, so I consider that cheating.

or

If I would be annoyed at them for doing it, then it's considered the same thing.
- I wouldn't want to see him giving his number to another female, even if she asked!

[rockyracoon]

Hmmm, you have to weigh it all up Nay, do you think he's cheater material or was it a pissed up mistake that he sincerely regrets.

I wouldn't break my marriage up over this type of stupidity but the arse would certainly know how unimpressed I'd be.

[LittleSquidge]

Nay37: He tried to be unfaithful. My call would be that is cheating.

[Octavius]

OG, your analogies don't work as it was the other party who halted the intent, not the intendee.

I'm surprised your bf told you of this incident really since nothing actually happened, but no doubt this has cast doubt in your head. You just have to go with your feelings on this in terms of the relationship and trust. If you can put it aside, great move ahead. If not, move on.

[Old_Geezer]

I don't see it matters who or what stopped it, again the intent was there, which was the crux of the question.

[Canary42]

If he was really p!ssed (which seems likely) then I would be more inclined to forgive, but would remonstrate strongly against the getting so sozzled in the first place - it could be attempted (or actual) rape next time.

[rockyracoon]

Blimey Canary, that's a bit of a stretch

[pixie373]

I agree with littlesquidge that if he wouldn't do it in front of you, he shouldn't do it behind your back. The intention was there and what would have happened if she'd said yes? Wanted sex with him?
How did you find out about it? Did he tell you?

Sqad - "cheating" is American for "two-timing"

[Nay37]

Well normally if hes been out with his mates or on a stag do he would come home and tell me everything that happened (we had total honesty in our relationship) but this time he was shady about it so I got suspisious and read some messages between him and this american girl and then kept on at him until he eventually told me all. He has promised to stop contact with this girl cos I said to him that there would be no way forward for us if it continued. I have let it rest at that but if I find out that he has kept contact he is out of the door faster than you can say Jack Robinson.

[mccfluff]

i'd be more concerned that he had her number and been messaging her, than the drunken attempt at a kiss

[pixie373]

Yes. He didn't regret it. He tried to continue without you knowing and only told you when you had suspicions. Can i ask how long you've been together?

[nannybooby]

Agree with you little squidge.

[puddle-duck]

As others have said the intention was there whether he kissed her or not. I believe if someone cares for you they won't even think about wanting to kiss anyone but you.

For me cheating comes in many different forms. Whether it's physical or emotional. For me it's a deal breaker there is no going back.

[Svejk]

Nay,nay,nay girl. Its 99% certain your boyfriend did the dirty. Either live with it or dump him. And get yourself down to the clinic.

[Svejk]

OG. You can do bird for intent.

[stewey]

I really don't think that the fleeting oscular exchange of saliva should be deemed as cheating. However, when other bodily fluids are introduced into the situation a bit of a palaver could result.

[janbee]

YES!!