Hurt And Confused.

[Zammo]

I'd been chatting with a guy on a dating website and after about a week he gave me his number so we started texting. He'd text me just about everyday and then he asked me on a Date. We got on great, he was very tactile but I wasn't put off(liked him). He told me he liked me and I believed him. We arranged a second date but the day of the date he cancelled saying he had gotten bad news and wouldn't be much company. He asked to reschedule which we did for the following week inbetween times we carried on texting - even for 8 hours one night. Anyway the day of the second date he text to say he was in hospital (nothing serious so he says). I was ready to give up so text him to say I thought fate was trying to tell us something and that if he wasn't interested in me I wish he'd just have said instead of wasting my time and his! He replied saying he was interested but now can't pursue dating for the immediate future because his health comes first and says he's had some bad stuff happen over the winter and when it comes to his health he won't be dating for a long time although says he wants to stay in touch. I'm not expecting to hear from him again. I don't get it though. So confused. I noticed he has deactivated his account from the dating site but why chat to someone for 6 weeks, 8 hours a night, organise a second date if you're not interested??!!

[anneasquith]

married ?

[pixie373]

Maybe he wasn't sure and took a while to make up his mind.

[rockyracoon]

He may have met someone else and didn't have the balls to be honest, kept you on the back burner for a while until he was sure.

[Zammo]

Maybe you guys are right. He's not married or if he is I'm sure his wife would be suspicious as to why his status on Facebook is single.

[rockyracoon]

She might not be on FB, or the profile you see is made up.

[pixie373]

I don't think he's married- on a,dating site, hours of texting, dates, etc. Just uncertain, i think.

[sherrardk]

Sorry that you feel this way but he just sounds like an arse - you have to be careful, there are some right nutters about. Just look at some of the trolls who come on here, must be 'easy pickings' on a dating website (sorry to sound harsh but sometimes people come across as awfully naive).

[anaxcrosswords]

It depresses me to read stuff like this. Believe it or not there are genuine, honest people out there, but on both sides of the gender divide there are also a lot of bellends and they tend to create a bad name for everyone else.
I tried a dating site once and gave up after a few months. On two occasions an agreement to meet was followed by ‘Oh, by the way, I should mention I’m a size 14, not 10 – the profile is a bit old’ and a third resulted in some other ‘I forgot to mention…’ codicil. These were only relevant in that they had been deliberately held back or misrepresented, and it was that fundamental dishonesty that persuaded me to give the whole thing up.
And I suspect that’s the point. All it takes is a couple of instances of BS and you jump to the (possibly wrong) conclusion that the bullmeisters represent the vast majority. Away from dating sites, at least, that probably isn’t the case, but it only takes one to cause disillusionment.
Keep looking – just try to look in the right places (and if you find the right place let me know, because it’s eluded me so far).

[gina32]

Was his picture on the dating site?

[woofgang]

oh he's so full of bull......

[Zammo]

Yes he had quite a lot of pictures on the website and he was better in the flesh.

[Sqad]

Let us hope, before giving him the usual female ABer tongue lashing, that he is not in hospital with a terminal illness........eh?

[hopelessinit]

Cos he's a Snag !!!

[hopelessinit]

Cos he's a Snag!!!!

[Purple_Popple]

This happens a lot ! Part of life now Im afraid, men love playing they do this to keep you dangling. I experienced this for weeks off a guy I work with ! He arranged 3 dates, he said he was ill on all of them, yes we text lots and lots day and night, and I got very bored. It just fizzled out, he obviously wanted no strings rumpy pumpy and was merely stringing me along as he knew he wasnt getting me into bed. Men don't want to bother these days with dates, when some woman somewhere will drop them for a few saucy texts. Yes it hurts that people can treat you this way without any regard for your feelings. It sucks.

[Dee Sa]

he is definitely married and the wife probably got hold of his phone, the long texts could be easily be a night job with nothing else to do. He was hoping for bed on your first date and then you would never have seen him again.
Pal of mine met a guy on a dating site, they arranged date 2 when he text to say could he bring his toothbrush when she gave a negative reply not only did he cancel but he managed to wipe out all her contacts, don't ask me how but it happened.

[Colmc54]

I think his wife or partner found out what he was up to and he's had to stop his adventures on dating websites or face divorce. Or, he may be trying to make you a stringer, keeping you hanging on while he checks out others. The fact that he's deactivated his account would suggest the first explanation, and thus I think you've been lucky, though it never feels that way at the time.

When I was divorced I paid money to join an introduction agency which also had a social programme. For me it was worth every penny to know everyone I met had been vetted and checked and were thus exactly who they said they were. I had great fun and then wow! I fell in love again. That was seventeen happy fulfilling years of marriage ago!

[viv38]

Sorry, he's just a control freak who gets his kicks from messing you about. Walk away and forget him !

[Prudie]

I've no idea why but I've lost count of the the number of friends and colleagues who use dating sites and relate the same kind of story as yours. You'll have to chalk it up to experience. Maybe people just do it to pass the time away or have a laugh. (did you actually speak to him or just text?)

[Prudie]

Whoops just seen this is an old thread.