ChatterBank1 min ago
My Daughter’S Best Friend’S Mum
12 Answers
Am I overthinking?
My daughter’s mother and I split a long time ago. Last year, in somewhat unlikely circumstances, I got my daughter to exchange her contact details with a girl who we met in a pub – she was with who I assumed were her parents, but it later transpired her parents were divorced and the people we met were either her dad and new partner or mum and new partner (I’m not sure, but it doesn’t matter). I got the two together because, overhearing their conversations, it was clear my daughter and this girl (who I’ll give the false name Ellie) had a heck of a lot in common in terms of musical interests. The girls are 14/15.
The end result is that they are inseparable, truly best friends, and it’s fantastic to see. As well as liking the same bands, they both play guitar/bass and are writing songs with a view to forming a band at some point. As a musician myself I love this, and as a joint birthday present between my daughter and I we bought Ellie a new guitar to replace the nice – but cheaply made – one she had, and she was actually crying with joy.
I’ve had no contact with Ellie’s father, but today I received a couple of really lovely messages of thanks from her mum, and here’s where it’s starting to get complicated. There might just be some ‘interest’ there, judging by the tone of her messages. And she is lovely.
But my brain is telling me this could get awfully complicated. Under no circumstances would I want Ellie to at some point start referring to me as ‘dad’, not least because I’m my daughter’s dad and I never want her to feel that I’m dividing that role between her and someone else, especially her best friend.
Thankfully, in terms of these messages between Ellie’s mum and me, things are at such an early stage that my backing out isn’t going to cause any harm whatsoever, but do I have any cause to be concerned, or am I being irrational?
My daughter’s mother and I split a long time ago. Last year, in somewhat unlikely circumstances, I got my daughter to exchange her contact details with a girl who we met in a pub – she was with who I assumed were her parents, but it later transpired her parents were divorced and the people we met were either her dad and new partner or mum and new partner (I’m not sure, but it doesn’t matter). I got the two together because, overhearing their conversations, it was clear my daughter and this girl (who I’ll give the false name Ellie) had a heck of a lot in common in terms of musical interests. The girls are 14/15.
The end result is that they are inseparable, truly best friends, and it’s fantastic to see. As well as liking the same bands, they both play guitar/bass and are writing songs with a view to forming a band at some point. As a musician myself I love this, and as a joint birthday present between my daughter and I we bought Ellie a new guitar to replace the nice – but cheaply made – one she had, and she was actually crying with joy.
I’ve had no contact with Ellie’s father, but today I received a couple of really lovely messages of thanks from her mum, and here’s where it’s starting to get complicated. There might just be some ‘interest’ there, judging by the tone of her messages. And she is lovely.
But my brain is telling me this could get awfully complicated. Under no circumstances would I want Ellie to at some point start referring to me as ‘dad’, not least because I’m my daughter’s dad and I never want her to feel that I’m dividing that role between her and someone else, especially her best friend.
Thankfully, in terms of these messages between Ellie’s mum and me, things are at such an early stage that my backing out isn’t going to cause any harm whatsoever, but do I have any cause to be concerned, or am I being irrational?
Answers
1 to 12 of 12
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by anaxcrosswords. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
Does your daughter remember if the woman you met in the pub was Ellie's mum?
Anyway, I think both girls would find it awkward (at their age) if one's dad started going out with the other's mum. If you kept it purely platonic it might be fun spending time with a woman you like, and the girls obviously like each other, but I think anything more might make the girls feel a bit weird about the situation.
Anyway, I think both girls would find it awkward (at their age) if one's dad started going out with the other's mum. If you kept it purely platonic it might be fun spending time with a woman you like, and the girls obviously like each other, but I think anything more might make the girls feel a bit weird about the situation.
1 to 12 of 12
