Why Won't He Divorce

[Purple_Popple]

Hi ABers
I am currently dating a guy who has been separated for 7 years. He lied in the beginning about being truly single and I should have ran for the hills then, but I didnt.
He has rental properties involved, but having been with him almost 18 months now, he say the divorce is going through but I must admit I am having trust issues. I do love him so much. Lord knows why.
The best of it is, his wife cheated on him, so he says, but if this is the case why isn't he free of her after all this time.
I just cannot get my head around this or understand.

[Purple_Popple]

He also told me last year that he was starting divorce proceedings, the lied about that as he admitted he was 'dragging his heels'...this time he has shown me solicitor paperwork that it is going ahead. But I am still feeling unsettled and my gut feeling is that I can't trust him.

[ummmm]

Money. Divorcing means dividing up of assets.

[Sycamore3House]

Everyone's circumstances are different. If he has rental properties his 'wife' (as he's not divorced) could have a claim on the business so he may not be willing to divorce for this reason. There may be children involved. His wife may have provided the finance to start his rental portfolio. Lots of questions that only he can answer.

[bednobs]

the reason he is not divorced yet is simply because he doesn't want to.
either because of financial issues, he can't be bothered, still loves her and so on and so n

[anneasquith]

You don't really trust him do you?

[Purple_Popple]

No Anne i do not, my gut instinct keeps telling me something isn't right here.

[Purple_Popple]

He doesn't have children either.

[EDDIE51]

'I'm getting a divorce' is the oldest story in the book.
Can you be totally sure he is not still in a relationship with his wife and you are just an 'extra'.
As said if he has rental income he probably does not want to have to give 1/2 of it to his wife.

[frugalfred]

//he lied from the beginning//
//I have trust issues//
Frankly, I would dump him asap.

[anneasquith]

I'm sorry to say , go with your gut instinct :-(

[Islay]

Does he frequently spends nights away from you at business events?

[CrapAtCryptics]

I`m with Fred and Anne - go with your instincts - you only have his word she was the cheater and he is a liar you said.

[Purple_Popple]

No nights away at all. We see each other every night.

[ummmm]

Don't listen to the 'dump him' brigade.

It sounds financial or laziness.

[douglas9401]

Finally, the voice of reason. :)

He's getting it all ways.

[anneasquith]

Nothing to do with " dump him brigade " pp doesn't trust him, not a great basis for a lasting relationship, sorry .pp. Good luck.

[Mamyalynne]

Purple, I think the choice you have to make is, stay as you are or walk away - he's not going to change.

If you get enough from the situation you're in now, stay with , if not..............

[ummmm]

I don't see it as lies. When you've split with someone you're single the rest is just formalities.

The intention is probably divorce and it's just not reality yet.