Serious questions about pillow talk

[PinkFizz]

This really is a serious question.
When you and your othe halves,or previous relationships if they are more relevant,are in bed in the throes of passion,if you get my drift - well if the chat gets quite below the belt and turns to a fantasy nature ie " I would love you to...,or " Wouldnt you like it if...." - then afterwards the fantasy is never mentioned,would you put in down to just getting carried away at the time,or that they really meant what they said but lost their bottle afterwards to repeat it?

[MORELLO]

Heat of the moment. Something like that happened recently, and it was enjoyable and exciting at the time, but it was left where it started. Who knows, it may come up again in the future if things get sufficiently heated...

[suzi-q]

Suppose it depends whether you like the idea/fantasy too. If so, drop a hint when you're not in the throes of passion. If its too way out for real life but just a nice fantasy leave it there.

[PinkFizz]

Well I say this because he keeps mentioning a certain thing during you know what,and I play along as its exciting at the time,but I would never ever really want to re-enact it! And no,its not perverted or anything,but Im womdering now if he thinks that I really do want to!

[MORELLO]

You won't know if you don't ask.

[suzi-q]

Just enjoy it at the time if you dont think you would ever carry it out. Theres no harm in fantasies. Sometimes that exactly where they should stay. In my experience though men have a habit of wanting to make them realities...

[PinkFizz]

Thats whats worrying me - whether he really wants to and I could be inadvertantly leading him on - but I can hardly kill the throes of passion by going "Oooh no,don;t wana do that!" lol

[suzi-q]

Its a difficult one. If he knows you well enough would he be able to work out for himself that it might be all very well as a fantasy but that you wouldn't want to do it for real? If he hasn't mentioned it in any other situation maybe he prefers it to stay a fantasy too?

[PinkFizz]

Well one night on the sofa he said what ever I suggested he would do as he wanted me to be happy sexually(I am,silly man!!)

Then he keeps on about another man joinin us in bed.It used to be occasionally,now its every time almost! And he gets quite carried away with all the details! Oooh matron - Ive said too much!

[MORELLO]

Like I said - ask him?

[suzi-q]

I think this is a pretty common fantasy. I think it would be sooo different in reality to the fantasy version. And I think your fella would probably hate it. If it turns you both on go along with it, but some times you need him to actually be him making love to you and without the imaginery third party huh?

[MORELLO]

In my experience (ahem!) that's a male fantasy that can quickly turn sour in reality, and is better left as just that. If though he is serious, that's YOUR decision as to whether it happens.

[suzi-q]

Did you try it then morello? and was it not what you thought? tell me to mind me own business if you want, but its interesting you should say that.

[PinkFizz]

Well like you say,its great fun playing along,but I would never want to do it as yes,it would wreck things and its all very well on the night I would imagine,but in the cold light of day I dont see how you could ever look at each other in the same way.And I bet it would get dragged up into every single argument! lol

[redcrx]

Im sure its all just a fantasy to him and he'll be happy just to discuss it in the throes of passion.
If he ever mentions it outside of the bedroom then just explain to him that the chat in bed you are happy with but you want to keep it just as fantasy

[PinkFizz]

Yes,pray tell Morello!

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, i agree with redcrx. But i also find it weird that he wants another man to join in. Usually its another girl. Maybe he is experiencing different feelings now and wants to use the moment as an excuse.

[suzi-q]

Oh dear hes gone quiet now. Didnt mean to be nosy but was interested cos its a fantasy me and my hubby enjoy now and again and we've made a few of our fantasies come true. But not this one, its quite extreme isn't it and like you say, may not be so exciting the next morning.

[redcrx]

Mrben
Not all men fantasise of 2 women you know. I know a couple of guys who have the same idea as Pinks fella.

[MORELLO]

It's different if you're emotionally attached to the person (in m y case female) As a fantasy carried out upon a (willing) 'stranger' / new associate, it can be / is great fun for all involved. But, try and transfer the same situation where friendships / emotional attatchments are in place, and it gets very dodgy. Fantasy quickly changes to jealousy, insecurities etc for one or more, and breakdown of those attatchments. Plus it can be like a bucket of cold water over you... but hey, we're all different

[MORELLO]

MrBen5 - if your male, introducing another male, or female, are 2 different fantasies each with their own desirable factors.