losing that loving feeling

[spk]

Ok- to start Im incredibly fickle and its a huge flaw of mine but why do I always start to lose interest in somebody the minute the chase is over? I can be head over heels in lust, and the minute they start getting really interested and want to spend loads of time together I get bored.. How can I keep myself interested? The person is perfect and extremely lovely so whats wrong with me?

[raysparx1]

Hello spk,

Nothing wrong with you, you just ain't met "The one" yet, you still got a bit to do before you settle,enjoy it,don't worry,you will know when it feels 100% right, Ray xx

[spk]

Thanks Ray- but the thing is he could so easily be the one.. I was hurt very badly in the past and I seem to keep doing this ever since, He really is a lovely man but I just keep pushing people away when they start to get close. Im a bloomin lunatic lol x

[raysparx1]

Hi again,

If you really like him,give it time, don't be put off by what has gone before, " There is no future in the past" so try to forget the one or ones that hurt you, this one hasn't hurt you,don't be scared to show your feelings, talk about the things that have gone before, don't push him away because you are scared of being hurt, good luck, Ray xx

[lulu85]

Hi spk, I am similar to you, I do the same thing and seeingly for similar reasons. I would say that if u want to let this guy in, go for it, otherwise you will always regret it - you can learn from mistakes, but you cant go back to 'what-if's'. I hope that makes sense. xxx

[joannie10]

i agree with Ray in both answers but from experience I am more likely to go with the first one. I too was hurt and felt like you I was just not letting anyone get close etc etc(and they also were really nice, good guys). That was until I met 'the one' and realised there had been nothing wrong with me previously was just waiting for this person to come along. Good Luck x

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, i have the same problem spk. After i have had sex i just lose interest all together, even if she is well fit...

[jump79]

Avoid seeing him for a week and see whether you miss him at all and is your life any different/ less interesting without him etc. When you do get to see him after the short 'break', analyze your feelings : if you still feel bored/uninterested then he may not be "the one" (despite being perfect in every way) for you.

[Tha-Flash]

People tend to be MORE ATTRACTED to people who have HIGHER VALUE than them.

"We want what we can't always have"

Girls test guys sub-consciously so they filter out the weak/needy ones which just come up to them with approval seeking bodylanguage say something along the lines of "oh my god i think your the most beautiful women i've ever seen, can I buy you a drink?"

When a guy passes the girls test (by doing something which IS UNUSUAL AND DIFFERENT FROM WHAT ALL THE OTHER HUNDRED GUYS USUALLY DO) she sees him as a CHALLENGE and she feels ATTRACTION because she HASN'T CAUGHT HIM.

Nothing is wrong with you, it's natural for this to happen.

A lot of people I know, including myself would say its NOT your flaw but it's the guys. It's just the way attraction works.

You have a ball of string and the cat tries to catch it. Once you drop the ball on the floor for the cat, it leaves it alone.

[PinkFizz]

Hi spk - surely you don't mean fitty!!

I know what you mean though but give it some time.You will know if he is the one but it is still very early days yet and anything could happen.If he is as lovely as you say then give it a bit longer.It would be awful if you ended it now ,to then realise afterwards that you had made a mistake.

xx

[spk]

Thanks I appreciate all your answers. Im going to give it more time, I am really into him but I can see myself doing the pushing away thing already and I dont want to mess this one up. I think the space for a week could work too- maybe Ive just been seeing him too much too soon xx

[lisy]

hey sweaty,
i'm the same way and what i usally do is just say with them and if they get tired of you then they will brake up with you and if they're not the way i want tem to look loke hot or something like that then and they could be the sweatest to me but i'll brake up with them i think it may be the way they look