Cheating dad what to do?

[freak_unique]

Last night i caught out my real dad cheating and im not sure what to do. Basically he is cheating on his wife - he has 3 kids with her (my half brother and sisters) and has been with her for the last 12ish years. He did the same thing to my mum when i was a baby also on many occasions so it is not like its a one off or anything, and just to get the story straight he has never really bothered with me from birth he will bother for a month or so then not for another 8 years -seriously so you get the picture of what hes like?
Basically id got a new mobile number and text him my new number a few nights ago, baring in mind he NEVER texts me ever its always his wife that bothers. I received a dirty text from him basically saying "Naughty, i hope your not being naughty in the bath else il have to come round and sp*nk ur d*nnies". I thought right...so i text back all joking i think that was meant for sam! And he was real funny with me saying its my fault for having a new number!!! Then he text me on my old number trying to cover up and just genelly being weird saying oh well u know what me and sam get upto. Anyways i spoke to his wife on msn today who was at work yesterday from 5pm- 830 pm and the dirty text was sent to me at like 630pm!BUSTED! plus she would of mentioned and laughed if hed told her hed sent her a dirty text that was meant for her... its obvious hes lying. All my mates say i should casually drop it to his wife who im pretty close to by making a joke about a dirty text dad sent me that was for her...what do u think?
Also upon speaking to her today she was saying how she never seems to see him anymore...
What would you do?

[Phatom06]

Well I have been in a similar situation, and if you can let the cat out of the bag do it, because someone will get hurt sooner or later.

[atolhurst]

God, such a toughie.

I would tell her - she deserves to know. However, I also think before you did that, you speak to your dad in person telling him you plan to tell her. Maybe that will make him tell her - it would be better coming from him than you.

[freak_unique]

Hey the problem is i never see him, i havent seen him for 4 years and before that i didnt see him for 8 years with his poor excuses of losing my mobile number hmm so you can see what a waste of space he is. I get the occasional text and thats because his wife makes me effort and tries to make him bother which doesnt really work- shes great though feel pretty close to her which is why i feel so guilty. But wouldnt me breaking the family up make me in the bad books of him, his wife and my brother and 2 sisters who are quite young (12, 10 and 9)?

[missjef]

i think you should do what your mates say and causally drop it to his wife in a jokey sense about getting the text.
She deserves to know.

[Champagne]

Well you're certainly not close to your Dad and, frankly, you sound like you have very little respect for the guy either. If your on his wife's side on this then definitely drop it into the conversation casually. But be prepared for the outcome. This could potentially lead to their separation.

[atolhurst]

This is a big thing but if his wife is a nice person, then she derserves to know. What she chooses to do with that info in relation to the kids is her decision but I think if iI were the wife, I'd want to be told.

[freak_unique]

Champagne - you are right i really dont have any respect for him and due to him never once being there for me; cheating on my mum when i was a baby; taking my mum to custody to see me at weekends to then when i go and visited him at weekends hed dump me on other people while he went to the pub and moan that i didnt want to go to the pub at 8 years old he really isnt a father figure to me. I think ive answered my own question really as i would side with his wife as she is the only reason i have contact with them and speak to my brothers and sisters over there because she wants to keep in touch. And scarily enough, id feel much more comfortable visiiting my younger brother and sisters if my dad wasnt there. I guess its strange how ur own flesh and blood can just not feel like they are relatives; but my stepdad has only really been in my life 7 years but knows pretty much everything about me and has been there for me 100% and actually feels like family.

Atolhurst - yeah she is a lovely person. But i guess i dont want to say anything as i dont want to be the reason for breaking up a stable home for my brother and sisters? maybe i should just leave it to run ts cause as im sure she will find out soon? but then i feel awful...grrrr