is it me or the parents whos insane?

[br0adwaybabe]

so long story short i have been dating a boy for a few months and so far it has been going GREAT!!!! until the other night i went to see him he lives about 25mins away when i got to his house i went in and said hi to his parents and all seemed fine we left and went to another friends house 20mins later getting a call from his dad saying get back now so i went back dropped him off and went home. found out the next day from his friend that since my boyfriend didnt tell his parents that i was coming he is grounded from talking, emailing, texting and seeing me till jan 2nd and after that i can only see him once a month. does that seem a bit much or am i missing somthing? we haven't been getting serious or anything he kissed me for the first time about a week ago. i dont know what to do i feel so alone and no one seems to understand how hard this is on both of us. i miss him so much. what should i do?

[lizzydrippin]

Blimey, it certainly seems abit over the top. Has your boyfriend contacted you at all since? Do you mind me asking how old you both are?

[jno]

(yeah, age will have something to do with it. If you're both over 30, this definitely shouldn't happen...)

Agree with lizzy, that's crazy. Not allowed to text you wishing you happy Christmas? That's really mean.

It's kind of a bad sign, too: it's not your bf's fault, but it suggests he's been brought up in a pretty odd way; so when you get him back you should probably watch him - gently - for any signs of odd behaviour from him; people learn from their parents and their upbringing.

[br0adwaybabe]

we r 16 and 17. he has amazing parents they are sooooooo nice i just dont understand wut happened. but really what should i do? would it be a bad idea to email his parents apoligizing? i just dont know wut to do i dunno if i can last till jan 2nd with no contact at all

[jno]

amazing parents is right. But I doubt there's much you can do, especially if you thought you got on with them ok - what would you apologise for, exactly? Turning up without a brass band to announce your arrival? It sounds like something between him and them, so he should try to sort it out. But I honestly never met a family where having a guest without issuing formal invitations was a grounding offence - or even an offence at all.

[ummmm]

weird

[China Doll]

Perhaps you could as your parents to have a word with his and discuss why they felt the way they did and if there is any compromise that can be reached. They can also represent your feelings on the matter.

I think that for you to send an email or anything like that may not be considered as appropriate and you run the risk of makiing a bad situation worse.

I hope it works out.

[br0adwaybabe]

see i would totally have my parents talk to them but... my parents felt we were getting to serious and let me remind u were not just last week was our first kiss. so my parents were going to ask me not to hang with him for a week or two but still let me talk to him. so i cant have them talk to my parents. i was also thinking what if i asked my mum to talk to the parents and see if they would be willing to hav dinner with there son me and my parents and we can all work this out. i just dont understand why he has to be grounded from me for 5 weeks without ANY communication i think i would even be ok if i could at least call him.

[joko]

perhaps you should write them a note - apologise for coming unnanounced and say it was a spur of the moment thing and it hadn't occurred to you that it would not be ok.

[br0adwaybabe]

thats what im thinking but im afriad :( i miss him so much and i cant even call to see what hes thinking he called once using a friends phone and said he would try and call again but it would be hard :( im scared i dont know wut to do :(

[jno]

just hang in there... your suggestions make it clear you are smart and mature; it's the older generation who are behaving in a peculiar fashion. To answer your original question, no, it's not you who's insane! But short of leaving home, there's not a lot you can do if both lots of parents wanted you to take time out (why did they?)

[br0adwaybabe]

thanks you guys have helped. i wasn't sure if i was being the typical teenager thiking this punishment was a bit much. i heard from him today but not much he just had my friend tell me his been really upset and that hes really sorry for this and hes going to try to talk to his parents when they calm down. so hopefully it works out

[ummmm]

This is really weird...i don't want to sound horrible but are you sure that he is not just saying this because he doesn't want to see you anymore?

[br0adwaybabe]

no i know bc his mum and my mum talked and he keeps telling his friends to tell me LLL which means love love love. its a thing we have lol. but i know hes not just doing it he has contacted me a bit and his parents haven't liked me since we started dating and my aunt talked to his mum about it today and ya... but i know hes not doing it.

[danilee222]

I think thats pathetic what they have done... I'm 16 and with a 15 year old boy, if any of our parents done this we would just simply run away.. Just to let them know how we felt about it, DONT let them win whatever you do!! Your 16 right?? YOUR OLD ENOUGH TO DO WHAT YOU WANT IN THIS WORLD I know parents still treat us like kids, but were legal to live alone now and were old enough to go out and have a relationship if we want to. Let me know what happens please!! x

[br0adwaybabe]

hahaha i really like ur answer thats wut i feel like but even if i decided to run away they would find me haha. well they let him call me on monday and they were forcing him to break up with me but he didnt and he told me he loved me and that everything would be ok so im fine now cuz i know what hes thinking but it sucks cuz today is a snow day and me and him hav been wanting to play in the snow for a long time together and we cant :( but im doin aslright cuz his friends update wuts happeneing with him and my friends tell him stuff about me so i think i will survive its just really hard a frustrating! o!!! the new thing heres the deal they r going to get my cell phone bill and if he has talked to me at all the date will be pushed to his 18 birthday and if he does it again his parents will send him to juvy i really dont understand y they r doing this to us! but i will be ok...

[flipflop104]

How can his/ parents get your/ cell phone bill?????

[br0adwaybabe]

by asking my parents for it. my parents love his parents as do i so will probablly do it. no worrys though i want to respect his parents so i havent been talking or texting him. im just gunna wait it out but i cant decide weathr or not to write an apology letter and how much i like them(the parents) letter thing...

[lightoftruth]

might i ask how all this got sorted out in the end? Lord knows if my mum ever tried to stop me seeing my girlfriend ( she is 16 and i am 17) i would just walk straight out of the house and just live with one of my mates for a bit.