arrrgh!!!

[Kaylz1988]

Ok so I posted something on here YESTERDAY! Today I just need to get something off my chest. My boyfriend is a jerk! We spend saturday nights togther without fail. Friday nights we spend with mates. This saturday hes going round a mates to watch a big fight! He says he'll pick me up after!! But whats the point of going there at 12in the morning? Last Saturday was the same thing. Didnt get to spend the evening with him. Was there from about 10.30! Then as soon as we got home he went to sleep. I just want to hear other peoples points of view. This is going to be the 2nd Saturday that I dont get to spend with him now. I feel abit neglected to be honest with you. I've told him how i feel abit, havent told him i feel neglected. And he says he wont go but then I dont want him not to go and have the ump with me. You know be the big bad controlling GF! Am I being unreasonable?

[4getmenot]

just swap the nights, if its what he wants to do then nothing can be done, at least he wants to see you after. Do you see him through the week?

[Kaylz1988]

Yes I do see him through the week, but this week i've seen him once! I would swap the dates but hes working Saturday has to get up at 5am! :(

[4getmenot]

I'd just let him. I know too much from past experience that You�ll just push him away. As long as he has told you well in advance then it is his life. I used to get annoyed if we�d planned something and he�d tell me at last minute. Why are you so worried? Is it the time apart or are you worried you�re growing apart?

[4getmenot]

I don�t think you have anything to worry about because he has said he�ll not go if you want. But you should never do that as he will hold it against you that he missed a night with the lads. You sound like me a year ago, I used to see my bloke on Wednesdays and at weekends, then he started seeing his mates again, which I never minded but he would always tell me at last minute so I couldn�t plan to go out with my mates. When I�d want to see him on a Tuesday he�d say no Wednesdays are our day, even on valentines!! Then he started up golf with his mates on a Wednesday night!!! Didn�t say to them oh hang on that�s not our day. I eventually had enough and dumped him this valentines because I was fed up of having to be there just when he needed me but he was never there when I needed him. But I think your situation is different and you can work on it and it does seem he communicates a bit more than my ex did. You just need to let him do his own thing. I am with someone new now and if I have something to do I tell him same as he does with me, and no certain days.

[LLASY]

why don't you just go out with some friends yourself, it does you good to socialise outside your relationship, it will make him think a bit too.

[cartman99]

Kaylz,

Is there not a pattern forming here?, will this putting you 2nd end?, how much longer will you put up with it?

Set some boundaries and act if he crosses them.

[4getmenot]

he's not a dog, you cant set boundaries for anyone. its his life

[Kaylz1988]

I know what some of you are saying. I know I've got to let him do his own thing to, which I'm fine with. The thing thats bothering me the most is he seems to be making a habit out of it. Maybe I am worried that were growing apart. Friends have suggested I let him do what hes doing and give him a taster of his own medicine, but that seems a bit childish you know tic for tac?? I've agreed to see him after and we'll spend Sunday together but its not the same really.

[4getmenot]

I think you've done the right thing, just make sure if he wants to go out with his mates that he makes it up to you in some other way. Dont worry yourself too much. xxx

[Kaylz1988]

Thanks for the advice xxx

[cartman99]

boundaries are for Kaylz not him

[Kaylz1988]

What do you mean by boundaries? Are you saying I need bounderies?? Sorry dont quite understand.

[cartman99]

Personal boundaries are the limits we set in relationships that allow us to protect our selves.

Standards if you like.

[cartman99]

www.joy2meu.com/Personal_Boundaries.htm

see above

[Kaylz1988]

Ok I get you.

[Kaylz1988]

Thats actually a usuful link. Thanks

[redhead23]

give him some space , i would not like to go round too late either how old are u both >

[Kaylz1988]

I'm 18, 19 this year and hes 19, 20 this year.

[Kaylz1988]

I know in a relationship you need space but then again theres some people who dont mind being round each other 24/7. And this is obviously one of those cases where he needs some space and I am going to start. But its just that as I never really got to spend quality time with him last weekend it was bugging me. But iv spoke to him and Saturday day time he said hes going park with the lads and invited me. Then after they'll go off and watch their game. Then i'll see him again in the evening. I think hes tryna make up for it. Do you think I should?

[redhead23]

yes the man is trying give him some space and enjoy some time for you as well c your friends xxx