Did Something Terrible

[Fiszi]

I've just done something terrible. I suspected my fiancee was a little closer to his ex than he was letting on so I went through his emails (guessed the password much to my suprise). I know deep down my fears are irrational and some of the emails hurt me even though they were nothing that bad. I don't know what possessed me!! I felt and still feel really guilty. He phoned me while I was on them and that freaked me out and I came off it. Do I tell him and explain, which will probably cause a huge argument because he gets annoyed at how jealous I can be over her? Do I tell him the truth or learn my lesson and keep it to myself?

[YellowMe]

Hey.

Obviously your guilt is making you pay for what you did. I'm very jealous of my partners exes too so I understand where you're coming from. Also many people I know check their partners phone or emails at some point. Some do it very often, even though most people wont admit it. A couple of people I know even found their partners really had been cheating so I wouldn't feel too bad. No doubt he's checked your text messages at some point or at least thopught about it. Just take this as a lesson learnt and try not to do it again. xx

[PinkFizz]

I don't see what you will gain by telling him. He will be furious and also not be very trusting of you in future. I am also quite a jealous person and it is something I have learned to cope with. I would keep it to yourself and learn from it xx

[Trinny]

Hi Fiszi, I wouldnt tell him.

[4getmenot]

dont tell him. But I have to say you should feel Really bad, you broke the one golden rule of trust. How would you like it, and would you be able to put up with it?

[meaty]

Well if hes seeing his ex if it was me and my gfreind was seeing her ex Id kick her to the curb and move on but im very hard with relation ships you seem to become hard after so many. But dont tell if its going to start anything if your sorry thats all that matters good luck

[happyred]

I too looked through my boyfriends emails. I think i did it to put my mind at ease over the irrational jealous thoughts i was having. But i did read some emails which i shouldn't of seen, and felt awful afterwards. I didn't tell him what i'd done, but these things always come out eventually, and i wasn't going to forget what i'd read. It all blew up and went bad for a while, but thankfully it's all in the past now.
I don't think there's anything too wrong with looking at his emails...you're engaged so there really shouldn't be anything to hide. You feel guilt, so that's enough! :-) But be aware that sometimes you may find something you don't like. Then it's a whole different senario!

[4getmenot]

I cant believe half of you are saying its right to look through soemones personal stuff

[meaty]

Well if you think your child is on drugs youd go through there stuff if its a valid reason yeah but there shouldnt be that mistrust in the first place

[PinkFizz]

I agree with 4get I would never go through my guys mobile phone - for a start it would be wrong, and secondly txts can be read and taken the completely wrong way. Same goes for emails.

[I_Tried]

Fiszi,

Take it a lesson learnt control your jealousy and make sure the green eyed devil never comes your way again.

Mr T. A crazy fool

[Squish]

It wasn't good to look at his emails and you know that but at the same time I agree with a previous poster that since you are getting married, you should have nothing to hide from eachother and if you find that there is something being hidden you have every right to be angry. It's human nature to look at each others texts and emails. Most people do it just to reasure themselves because most people have a little doubt.

[maggie01]

I would never go through my husbands phone text messages but I did go through his e-mail this week. I found the answer I was looking for that he was seeing someone else. I am not proud of snooping but at least I don't have to listen to the lies about there being no one else anymore. I know e-mails can be read wrongly but in this case it gave me the proof i needed

[confused79]

Speaking frmo personal experiance, i had been married for 6 years and been with my partner for 14 years.
I never ever checked his phone or email, never even thought of it.

But in a way i wish i did now, reason being is he had been having an affair and it started off over texts.
How i found out is when i suspected something he admitted to one incident, but then i knew somethign wasn't right, for the first time ever i went on line and checked his mobile account which i guessed his password - ironically it was my name!
Then to my horror fuond the whole truth.
Putting that aside we are now going through a divorce and i am now with a newish partner, been togther for 1 1/2 years.
I now find checking his texts and email a really bad habit, - and before any one goes mad saying i shouldnt tar him with same brush - he cheated on me last year with his ex - so this is mainly why.
Im not saying its in no way right doing it as i woudlnt have before, but what i would say is if you do suspect something i dont see harm as if he wasn;t up to something then there would be nothing to hide.
I would also say if you didnt do it as you had suspicions then stop now as you may ruin your relationship over doing it, as he may find out.