Why are the only 'right' men for me MARRIED?

[sr203]

Looking for a man that is taller than me when I wear my highest heels (so over 6ft 1"), attractive, maybe dark haired, fit who has a cool hobby, not afraid to be old fashioned and offer to pay, who knows how to book flights, hotel rooms, tables at restaurants and use online florist, not afraid of an independant, experienced, well travelled young lady. Met two of these in my lifetime, BOTH MARRIED. Why? I appreciate if a man has these qualities that they would more than likely have been snapped up, but come on?! What do I do to find my own man with these qualities?! Where do they hide?!

[redcrx]

well I found my tall, dark, fireman, whos old fashioned at the right times and romantic. He was online

He isnt married (had been though) and was found hiding on faceparty.co.uk

[sr203]

i would do online dating, but i am 25. somehow i feel i should be finding this man without such needs! and i am sure your fireman is a total dish, but do hot single intelligent genuine men use online sites?

[~Wingnut~]

I met my husband, when I moved 200 miles away from home to do work experience for my college course. He had been married previously but had been divorced for a good few years before we met.
We met at a darts match between the local pubs and realised we were living just 2 doors away from each other. Haven't been apart since.

What I'm trying to say is, you could meet your Mr Right anywhere. My husband hadn't dated since his split and was just accepting that no-one would want him because of his health problems, I looked past all that and we have been married for over 8 years.
Prehaps your looking too hard and are asking for too many qualities in a man which stops you from meeting possible mr rights?

Hope that makes sense lol

[sr203]

probably am being too fussy but as christian troy from nip/tuck said - the moment you stop seeking perfection you might as well be dead!

did find a man in my local supermarket, dated for 8 months, but he was abusive both physically and mentally through out despite the millions of chances i gave him and now my confidence is shot.

hence why i feel i have to fussy to avoid this again!

[redcrx]

of course there are such men online, thats how I found mine, as well as many others along the way.
Theres the same mixture of good and bad just as there is in pubs / clubs and supermarkets. You just have to be wise enough to spot those that arent genuine, Im sure you can even at 25.

[nannon]

i'm only 22 and i found my boyf online! You can see what your getting befor eyou waste your time going on a date! I spoke to him for 8 weeks before i decided to metet him and the rest is history as they say!!! (well its only been 8 months since i first met him byt hey...!)

[sr203]

really difficult, as apart from work (where one of the married men is) and the gym (where there is NO ONE) i dont really go out! only because my friends are all coupled and of course not interested in coming out to bars or restaurants when they know i will be on the prowl! i do want to "stop looking" so someone finds me, but i love dating and being in love and all the benefits that come with it, i guess i am impatient!

[sr203]

nannon which site did you use? i need a heads up!

[4getmenot]

maybe they are looking for the ideal woman who isnt too high maintenance. You dont even mention personality. Maybe that the problem

[sr203]

well personality goes without saying and whether someone has a good or bad personality is the perception of the other! i might think i am hilarious and really sociable but someone might perceive me as having bad taste and being a bit in your face! its all down to the individual!

[4getmenot]

yes it is, can I ask why do you need all the above?

[sr203]

because that is what i am like!! i am considerate, generous, thoughtful, attentive , romantic and loving as well as having my own plentiful bank account, active social life and career, so i personally dont think it would be too much to think there is someone out there who could possibly be my equal! you cant take it unless you can give it - right?!

[4getmenot]

but if he's spensing all the money on you surely you cant spend any on him, if it is give and take why do you need his money just use your own.

[cazzz1975]

sounds to me like your demands for perfection may be slightly unrealistic, Are you perfection as well??

Physical perfection doesnt last

[sr203]

ok i think some are taking this out of context! i am just asking, are there any datable men out there who know how to treat a woman that arent engaged, settled, married... i have my faults but i am always working on improving them! physical perfection may not last but it helps in some instances! lets face it, no one looks at a member of the opposite sex they do not know and thinks "wow i bet they have a great personality..." lets change the word perfection to compatible then for the anal at heart!

[4getmenot]

yes course there are, you ever heard all woman go for b@stards, thus leaving you with the 'good' ones

[tiny e.a]

to be fair to sr203 she only said he had offer to pay, not pay all the time!

[redcrx]

well I gave you an idea of where to look for this 'mr right' you seek but you seemed to discard the idea until someone younger than you said they recommended same thing. It seems that you are very fixed in your ideals and perhaps thought internet dating the sort of thing that older people use.

Do you think that maybe the reason both married guys were ideal is that they were 'safe' and out of reach?

Perhaps just check out some of the online friendship / dating sites and make some friends first.

[~Wingnut~]

Because you are looking for certain qualities, prehaps you are missing the bigger picture and Mr right keeps walking you by. I never set out to meet my husband, I never had in my mind thinking I want to meet a man with money, looks a certain way, is caring etc.. We got to know each other and just seemed to fit together.
Because you are looking for a certain look how do you know they are caring, rich etc? You won't until you get to know them, so how do you know that joe bloggs down the road who isn't exactly rich or out going isn't the one who is caring, romantic etc.? The point is you don't and until you stop looking for a certain type your probably not going to meet the one I'm afraid.

[sr203]

wasnt dissing internet dating at all for any age, i personally would just be scared and very pessimistic about it! i think i might give it a try and set up a profile tonight and see what happens! i can always chicken out cant i? i guess i am just wondering when it gets easier? thanks for all the comments, it really does help to get things into perspective! i will not look! i will not look! I WILL NOT LOOK!