My boyfriend and his obsession

[alc2285]

My bf is really obessed with one thing when it comes to our sex life. He always wants me to do something to him that I really do not enjoy. We fight about this all the time. He tells me that he loves me and if I want to get married then I have to learn to like it because he can't marry a women who doesn't do it. I told him not many women do this for a man. He just don't believe me. What do I do?

[xhxmxsx]

can we ask what it is?

[China Doll]

Well regardless of whatever it is; if you really don't like doing it that much then don't do it. You don't sound like you want to compromise or meet half way on it.

If he can't respect that then perhaps you're not sexually compatible? Also, if he's using emotional blackmail in sex ('if I want to get married') then he doesn't sound like an all together nice piece of work... although that may be a harsh judgement on my part.

[Bewley_Bros]

Ditch him.

Any "kinky play" should be enjoyed as a two-way thing. If he can't get by without it, then he has a problem.

I do not mind admitting that I am rather partial to spanking ladies bottoms. Not hard, just a swift controlling slap.

If I knew the ladies didn't like it, then neither would I. And I can certainly live without it.

Sounds like a weirdo to me.

[Mr k]

If you don't enjoy it don't do it simple as you should not be pressurised to do anything you don't like.
If he really did love you he would understand and as for he cant marry a women who doesn't do it.
Well tell him to go and find another one..

[johnlambert]

Don't do anything you are uncomfortable doing, no matter how much he pleads and says that other women do it (whatever it is) for their bf's. It's your body and he needs to respect that, or he is not the man for you

[raysparx1]

He sounds like a right d!ckhead to me, he needs to grow up, he don't love you, no way should you do anything that you don't both enjoy, ditch him and find somebody that loves you, cos this is going nowhere.

[unrulyjulie]

Anything a couple does sexually should be enjoyed by both of you! It does not become his right as your husband to get his own way.

It sounds to me like he has little or no respect for your wants and needs.

Im sorry to say but this relationship sounds doomed to be honest. Don't do anything you dont feel completely comfortable and happy with, he doesnt sound worth it! His attitude is incredibly selfish, not one born out of love for you but love for himself. Sorry. X

[TickleTheCat]

How dare he threaten you with..."If you don't do it I wont marry you"!!! What the hell does he think marriage is? Tell him to grow up. And don't ever do something you don't enjoy sexually, that is the fastest way to put you right off sex all together.
I'm absolutely furious... your boyfriend is a class 'A ' d*ckhead

Sorry about the rant people

[tiny e.a]

I agree with all that's been said, if you are unhappy doing something then do not do it. He is basically trying to force you to perform a sexual act that you do not want to perform. Whether most other women do or don't do it is completely irrelevant. He is an emotional bully with no regard for your own feelings, he wants to use you to get his sexual kicks and if you are unwilling he doesn't mind applying pressure. Pr!ck.

[jno]

just to say I agree with everyone else. Don't do anything you feel bad about. If this means you are sexually incompatible, then you may well feel the relationship is not worth going on with; but the hint of blackmail ('if you want to get married...') is far more worrying to me. Never give in to a blackmailer. He sounds rather a bully, though perhaps I am reading too much into all this. But you don't 'have to' do anythign you don't want.

[CheekyChops]

Please tell us what you are talking about, I can only think of oral sex - is this right? If so, many women do it even though they don't enjoy it. This doesn't mean that you should though - if you are really not happy with it then I would end the relationship and find a bloke who is happy if you are happy.

As everyone else has said, you should never feel pressured into doing something you dont want to and he should respect that.

[-Em-mE-]

Yeah, this Guy sounds like a jerk. I would tell him too, "Why is it all phisical? Why dont you respect my opinions and treat like what I am...A LADY!
Gah, what a jerk. I am not trying to put down on you guys, because you know, some guys think one way and are still great despise a few things, he sould respect that you do not want to do this action.

[alc2285]

Well its oral. Its not that I don't like doing it I just don't want to do it everyday. I know women do this but I think most of them don't enjoy it. We have been together almost 2 years now. We have a 7 year age diff. I don't know why we fight about something so stupid. I would really like to know from a mans perspective is oral that much better then sex? Also, thank you all for your answers.

[nutgoneflake]

Regardless of the way a lot of people treat marriage these days - marrying a person is making a commitment to him/her for the rest of your life. There is no way you can be expected to "learn to like" something you clearly don't like and then spend the rest of your married life doing it. What kind of self-respect would you have as a result? What a selfish, uncaring piece of work your potential husband sounds!! If you fight about this now, what chance of happiness do you have with this man?? Good God, dump him now and do yourself a favour. If he loved you, he'd respect you AND YOUR WISHES and he clearly doesn't.

Find a man who loves and respects everything about you xx

[jno]

oral's fairly normal so your bf's not out of line asking for it; it's the way he's doing it - demanding with menaces - that's all wrong. I can't say if it's 'better than sex' but I think couples use it as one item on a menu rather than a staple diet. My guess is though that even if you split up, you'd find many other guys making the same request, though perhaps not so rudely. Some women like it because it's less invasive than ordinary sex and they don't have to fake orgasms. But it doesn't bring them any pleasure, except that they're giving pleasure to someone they love, and how's that going to happen when you're doing it udner threat? So stick to your guns, don't do things you don't want to, and if necessary find yourself someone who prefers the same sort of activity as you do.

Does he ever offer to return the oral, btw?

[Trinny]

If you want to get married then you have to learn to like it!

Who said romance is gone. What a creep he sounds alc, sorry

[banana]

Lots of women do have oral sex with their men-but usually as part of a loving relationship.Most often it occurs naturally during love making and -as JNO puts it so nicely when ..
[they're giving pleasure to someone they love,]

If it isnt part of what you would do naturally then dont force yourself to do it - nor let him force you either. Let the creep find someone else do his bidding. You already know you arent suited I think so tell him so the next time he lays demands on you.

Let him find someone who believes him -and you will be free to find someone who loves you as you are and lets you make your own mind up about important issues.

[Richie1976]

Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

[johnlambert]

from a guy's point of view, oral is great but it is not anyt better or worse than anyother kind of sex act, it is not something i would expect every day.

[Reverandfunk]

Or you could just demand the same from him all the time, he'd soon get fed up lol