why are ex's such complete ar** holes???? well most anyway

[confused79]

I have an ex who is the father of my three boys, we are going through a divorce.
Basically he tries to blame anything the kids do wrong on my new relationship and its just about making me boil!

He does not think or wont accept that the whole upheaval of him having an affairm then leaving being with a women within days of him leaving and seeing him leave then go back then leave and go back to his new girlfriend all the time, him one week saying he can see them and then the next week not seeing them, always letting them down, he wont see that this can be a big problem in there lives and cause then for instance to do something wrong at school.

No the fact then when we were together at the end our whole home life was a nightmare.
if he gets wind of the littiest argument that i may of had with my partner now, he blames the kids behaviour on that.!!! Why why why does he do this?

He is such a hipocryte! any one else have ar*e hole ex's?

[Psychick]

Yup! I left my daughters father when she was only 16 months old. I was that despoerate to get away from him in the end I took a flat with nothing but out clothes and her toys to fill it!. Never regretted it though!
He would come round all the time saying he wanted to see her and read her bedtime stories etc. But the minute I started seeing some one else ( which was 11 months after I had left him) he didnt want to know anymore!
He would never pop round to see how she was (he lived a two minute walk away) or even called to make sure she was well. The only reason she got anything off him for her 4th birthday was because I sent him a nasty text about it after she didnt get anything again off him at christmas just gone.
In the end the tie was pretty much cut and she forgot all about him.........til two christmas's ago just before her 5th birthday........long story but bascially he wanted back in her life and had regretted not being there. I took some time to consider letting him back in her life knowing what he was like at the novelty would soon wear off and he would dissappear again. Finally explained to her and they "met".
He proved me right though..........she has been to his house 3 times in nearly two years! He still never bothers to nip in or call to see how she is!
As for maintenance......we get �1.37 a week! And he hasnt even been paying that according to the CSA!!!
He gave her his old TV/DVD combi for christmas pleading poverty........he then went on holiday to Tunisia in February!!
And that is just the tip of the iceberg where he is concerned!

[confused79]

Bloody ar*eholes aren't they!
The only way to make my ex feel better is to now blame everything on me and i am the one keeping a roof over my childrens heads!

[confused79]

Bless your daughter thought does she ever ask questions about him?

[Psychick]

Not at all.........thankfully it seems to have worried or affected her in the slightest!

Something sweet though....she asked my partner ( and daddy to my unborn baby) if she can call him dad when the baby has arrived!

It sounds to me though like your ex is just being bitter and awkward........hopefully he will soon get bored of being a total prat!

[sense4all]

Because he is immature, doesn't realise he is riddled with guilt - so trying to shift blame at every avaliable opportunity.
Doesn't want you - but doesn't want anyone else to either!

[888sally888]

Yep - I have a similar ex. Its guilt for sure and they find a way to justify everything and blame us.

Just tyy and enjoy your lfe, rise above it - dont bite! My ex (even after 7 years) still tries to control everything and wind me up.

I am about to take him to court cos the 'Sally now' is strong and will not be controlled.

Good luck and hopefully your name will change from Confused to StrongWomanOnTop!! x

[confused79]

I defo have become stronger and much more controlled person myself since wheni was with him, i used to cower down to him all the time, even when we first split up if he rung me on the phone i would shake when he spoke to me and got very anxious.
Now i dont let him try and control me and get the upper hand. I am not bitter about him because now i look at him and think, hey he is the one worse off has nothing and the stupid one who cannot do nothing better than to still try and control me and blame me for things he has done.

Thanks for your comments i feel better today, he had really peed me off yesterday but took me just to type it up on here to get it out of my system! x

[xhxmxsx]

i dont have any ex's like that then again i dont have any children, my fiance has a nightmare x who did nothing but try to blame me for everything that her children do wrong that she doesnt agree with , when me and my fiance first got together she had a vendetta against me and tried to stop him seeing his children because he was in a relationship with me etc, it was ok for her to shack up and have 2 kids by the first bloke she met though, she still has this vendetta it's been 3 years, my fiance's kids get no attention from their mother so when they play up its to get attention but me and my fiance get phone calls about how it's our fault, the oldest who is 7 turned round to her the other day and called her by her real name and their when their mum asked why she didnt call her mum she said ' you dont act like a mum so i wont call u it anymore' what a lovely threatening phone call i received, i do nothing but try to encourage them to have a good relationship with their mum but there is only so much i can do and i still get hassle

[Ric.ror]

My husband left me when I was 8 months pregnant and had a toddler of 18 months. That was 20 years ago. I have never really had a penny from him - dont even ask about the CSA. I paid off his debts so I could keep the house, including his share of the divorce which he managed to rack up to �4K - dont even ask about Legal aid - its a joke.
He never took them on holidays for more than 3 days so I could not work. He even used to ring to ask if they would have their lunch when he did pick them up so he did not need to feed them. When his mother died she left them �1k each - they have never seen a penny. I could go on BUT when I told my youngest boy that I hoped his father would buy a bar in Greece (as he said he and his new wife are going to) so I would have him and his brother all to myself - he said 'well you already have'! - All being worth it in the long run

[confused79]

I know about CSA and legal aid as being a joke. No one and nothing has helped me, i work full time have a child minder been paying a big mortgage all by myself and apparently i dont qualify for legal aid, i will have to use what money i get out of my re-mortgage to pay the solicitor bills.
It is so unfair and makes me sick, yet if i had sat on my bum all my life and claimed benefits i woudl off got all the help i could.
I also get no money from my ex and it makes me sick, my boys say to me, mummy daddy is saying he will take us to america in January and i hate that becuase i know full well he wont, how can he puts our childrens hopes up like that!

[raysparx1]

I can only say I am sorry all you ladies have been treated so badly by blokes, and that they are exs, is because they are @rseholes, if they weren't you would maybe still be together, but some people will be twonks as long as they have a hole in there @rse.

[sallywebb]

lol @ ray, lets hope the hole gets blocked then, most exs are just that, I know mine is and he uses this site, hello tw@t face, you know who I mean, still hitting women ??? you won't hit me again !!!!