Tactful way of asking for money your owed?

[Kaylz1988]

Hi ya Guys, long time no speak lol. Anyways about a month ago I lent �40 to my boyfriends Mum. She doesn't work so she recieves benefits and that. Anyways now I need the money back. She hasn't mentioned it since I lent it to her but I HATE asking for money back. And I dont want to offend her in anyway. Plus I dont want my boyfriend to have to put his hand in his pocket if she hasn't got the money. So I don't know the best way to ask her for the money. Any ideas on how to tactfuly ask?

[earsugar]

Get some backbone girlie. Just ask. x

[Goodsoulette]

Tell her you are skint, there is no tactful way. If you dont say can I have that 40 quid back she might misinterpret what you are saying.

Before you do ask for it back though, do you stay there at all? Do you eat there etc etc? Might be worth forgetting about it if you do.

[4getmenot]

I agree get some backbone :-) just say erm have you got that �40.00 I lent you. why should you be the one feeling bad you helped her out

[Kaylz1988]

Yeah I do stay there and eat there. Thats why I dobnt want to seem rude. Or get on the wrong side of his Mum. She's a very feisty lady sometimes. She might think oh what a cheek....

[jackthehat]

Why not ask for � 30.00 back and say that you understand that letting her keep �10.00 is only fair as she feeds you, etc.

[aka pixi]

hmm depending on how much you stay and eat there maybe it would be cheeky asking for your money back. After all if she is on benefits she may not get that much money. If you contribute to food and stuff though then I would just say to her that you need the money cos you are skint and when can she pay it back.

If you do lend any money you ought to say when you want it back before you hand it over.

[Ethel]

Maybe her needing to borrow money from you was her tactful way of telling you she can't afford to keep feeding you.

[Kaylz1988]

Yeah I could do. I just don't want to look like the bad guy, harrassing her for money she hasn't got!

[Goodsoulette]

well has she fed and let you stay there often? If you have been a relationship for a while and stayed and eaten there more than 5 or 6 times, Id forget it.

[4getmenot]

can I ask why do you always hide yourself away in relationships and dating?? :-)

[Kaylz1988]

Nah I dont think so! I stay there once a week. And I'm very helpful when it comes to financial side of things. Sometimes I've gone there and theres no food in the fridge or drink so i'll go shopping spend �20 buy basics like bread, butter, milk, eggs juice etc. Theres been several times we've gone to the park for a picnic and I've gone halfs with her on the shopping. When I stay there and I order food for me and my boyfriend i include her and his two siblings. So really i make up for it

[Goodsoulette]

*worries about 4get keeping tags on where we hang out most*

On another site, I used to visit the obituary section most, combined with the way I look I earned the nickname the corpse bride.

[Kaylz1988]

I've been with him three years and to 4get me: i dunno it feels like home lol

[4getmenot]

nah its just I used to e-mail kaylz and just wondered why I havent seen her much elsewhere and also why she'd ask about money here. Plus people answer more in B & S. Come out :-)

[4getmenot]

Is he treating you any better nowadays?

[Kaylz1988]

Yeah he's ok! Had a few problems but getting better. Thanks for asking. U still with ur bloke?

[4getmenot]

yep and getting better every day :-)

[xxcharliixx]

for god sake love.
she could keep doing this for your hole life so why don't you just say i was aoundering if i could have that �40 back
it was yours to begin with so she can't say no n if she does tel ya bf that she needs doggy traing :D

[andrewabel]

i for one wouldnt lend money to people anyway, i dont to friends, i do to family because i have no problem asking them.

ive had people be icey to me because ive asked for money ive lent them, i now just dont do it.

when i have lent people money i either text or emailed them or talk about it on msn, its faceless, the chickens way out.

[lorla]

This sounds so familiar! Have lent money to my mother-in-law to be a few times and also have to ask for it because she never offers....and even then she gives it back in installments bludy cheek! Learnt my lesson, never help her out again.