I know i was wrong but....

[Banana Boat]

Last night i unintentionally (sp?) gained access to my mates emails. She hadn't looged off properly. anyways, i was V wrong, but was being nosy so had a peek at some emails between her and a mate of ours. Basiclly, to cut a very long story short, she said stuff about me to him. Stuff that really upset me. She said that she cant confide in me cos i'm too niave. (!) and that im a real bad judge of chararcter. She also said oter stuff in which she didnt mention my name but i know involved me, how shes so smart she has to dumb herself down so her 'friends' understand what shes talking about and how she always does what we want to do, and not what she wants. she even moaned to him that on her birthday she had to pretend to have a good time. I feel so betrayed. I know i was v wrong to read the emails, so i cant confron her because of it, but i also dont know what todo next. Im gonna try to keep myself to myself and not drop any of my problems on her, cos as she said to him 'they are not even real problems'.
how should i go about this? Should i not say anything and just keep myself to myself from now on? I though she was one of my best mates.

[andrea81]

Well if you tell her about reading her emails you will just confirm how she feels about you and that would be the end of your friendship. If you ask me everyone has someone to vent frustrations at, I'm sure we all talk about our friend behind each others back, even in a small way that would hurt them if they knew.

So really you could look at it in the way she is only doing what most people do anyway and just see how it goes with her, but I wouldn't tell, you will end up the bad guy!

[Goodsoulette]

For starters you cant say anything. If anything, you have proved yourself to be an untrustworthy friend.
From what I can see she hasn't said anything that bad about you. I ave friends who are naive and bad judges of character, doesn't mean I don't like them. I also had to go clubbing in Birmingham to some awful garage night for my mates birthday, did I moan about it all night? No, I pretended to enjoy myself, just as she does when I force her out to indie/rock clubs with me.

SO her biggest crime is not wanting to hurt your feelings and needing to vent off.

Respect peoples privacy in future.

[laurence2]

i would ''intentionally'' tell her that if she was that ''smart'', she should of logged off properly.


Now whos the dumb one?


And i would'nt worry about telling her nither, whats good for the goose........................


Some friend {not}

[eyebrows]

i would just distance myself with her, and maker her suffer.....she will realise how much she has taken you for granted if she really values you, and if not, kick her to the kerb......

life to short for fake friends......i chose to have no friends as all of mine were backstabbing W*****Rs.....i found a lovley g.f and now im happier than i ever was.....

remember that as you grow up, you will automatically make new friends mums at schoool/yoga whatever you into......

be yourself girl, and if peopel dont liek it.....ffff them.....

[warpig3]

I am in total agreement with Goodsoulette and can add no more.

[andrea81]

I fail to believe that everyone on her hasn't vented some anger or annoyence about a friend but still wanted to be friends. We all have our gripes with others!

I bet even banana boat would probably confess to saying things behind her frinds back, but not meant to be hurful!

If i'm wrong them i'm only being honest and i'll be the only one then!

[Banana Boat]

You right, i have said things about her, cos as you said, everyone has their gripes with others. But i guess what hurt the most was that i thought i could confide in her, and that she could me, but it turns out that she thinks my 'problems' arn't even problems and i feel that i can no longer confide in her. Shes lost part of my trust tbh. (although if she ever found out what i did then i'd lose what little trust i seem to have from her aswell)

[Reverandfunk]

Just def her out and get some new mates

[4GS]

sounds like she was right about you being naive and a bad judge of character.
Spot on there girly!!

[andrea81]

Yes banana boat. I understand that and I think it will be hard to be the same now, but in reflection. Do you think that you are in a way glad you know where you stand now?

I know I used to talk about my friends backs and they used to with me so now I have learned to not really care and only put my efforts into those who I new were true friends!

I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing young (sorry if i'm wrong and sound patronising) so maybe when you get to older in the end you will only have your true friends left!

[jackthehat]

She may have been e-mailing things 'for effect' to your mutual friend.........and exaggerating how she sees you and feels about things........

Don't fret about it, but ensure that you don't put all your eggs in one basket with her emotionally; it would be a good idea to expand your circle of friends.............

[Psychick]

Are you sure it was a case she hadnt logged off properly? She may have set you up to see if you would nose through. If she pretends to have a good time with you and acts and does what you want.... she must really like you as a friend though, or else why would she even bother?

Goodsoulette, I'll come to the rock clubs with you! lol