ChatterBank2 mins ago
Should i give love a chance to grow??
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A question for all you heart veterans if I may.
Just over a year ago I came out of a 5 month relationship with a girl who broke my heart massively, I was really in love with her and then got dumped by text message and never got to see her again, (I don't have any feelings towards her now). Whilst I was down and out I met a new girl at work who Is absolutely gorgeous, beautiful mind and soul, really kind and I know she would never do anything to hurt me, she is so much more than first girl in every way.
So what I can't understand is that after a year of being together, although I can say I love her, I don't love her with the passion with which I have loved before, I don't get the butterflies in the stomach, tingling of the fingers etc.
I can't understand this at all, but as we have been together for a year now I am wondering whether I should give love a chance to grow, or if this is being selfish on my part and I should set her free : ( I really want to love her more, and she is crazy about me but what if I still feel like this in 5 years??
Any advice as to what to do, or why this might have happened would be greatly received.
Thanks in advance ff
Just over a year ago I came out of a 5 month relationship with a girl who broke my heart massively, I was really in love with her and then got dumped by text message and never got to see her again, (I don't have any feelings towards her now). Whilst I was down and out I met a new girl at work who Is absolutely gorgeous, beautiful mind and soul, really kind and I know she would never do anything to hurt me, she is so much more than first girl in every way.
So what I can't understand is that after a year of being together, although I can say I love her, I don't love her with the passion with which I have loved before, I don't get the butterflies in the stomach, tingling of the fingers etc.
I can't understand this at all, but as we have been together for a year now I am wondering whether I should give love a chance to grow, or if this is being selfish on my part and I should set her free : ( I really want to love her more, and she is crazy about me but what if I still feel like this in 5 years??
Any advice as to what to do, or why this might have happened would be greatly received.
Thanks in advance ff
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I know what you mean I was with my ex on and off for years he was my first love but he would never settle down or grow up so in the end I had to let that love go to move on with my life. So I started going out with a boy that had wanted me for ages but I was too stupid and being treated like cr@p to let this bloke give me all I�d ever wanted. Anyway I�ve been with him 8 months now, love him to bits but often miss that excitement I got with the ex. I think its just because with him I never knew where I was whereas now I don�t want for anything. But I know the bloke I�m with now is so right for me and the reason I do is that he had to go away for a while and as soon as I knew I wouldn�t see him my heart felt so empty and I missed him like crazy. I guess you have just become used to your new girlfriend but when something happens that brings you closer together you�ll know.
Love comes in all different ways, i have been with my partner nearly 7 years and when we first met i couldn't stop thinking about him when i wasn't with him and when i was with him i was always smiling, and i felt giddy when he touched me. but that goes with time i call it the honeymoon period i say it lasted about a year. And i still love him now but in a different way. I dont feel giddy all the time, only when he gives me a romantic gesture.
So i ask you
How did you feel about her when you first met?
and don't let the past relationships get in the way of this one.
just follow your heart!
So i ask you
How did you feel about her when you first met?
and don't let the past relationships get in the way of this one.
just follow your heart!
I've been with my partner for 17 years and it has never been the all-consuming, butterflies, weak-knees, finger-tingling relationship like the one prior to this....
That particular relationship (3 years) was passionate in all respects......but I was as unhappy as I have ever been whilst in it.
The current Mrs. JtH is my life-partner. I adore her and will grow old with her. My heart swells at the thought of her; the best sound of the day is that of her key in the door after work. But no, I don't get the symptoms of 'passionate' love and I'm grateful for that.............it was exhausting and I'm no longer prepared to trade-off the lows for the highs.
I'm not sure that I have explained it terribly well but I think you'll be surprised at the depth of feeling you actually hold for your new girl; it just doesn't feel as 'strong' when compared to your past love...........
Stick with it but if the doubts continue to grow, then perhaps she isn't right for you and only you will truly know that and when.
That particular relationship (3 years) was passionate in all respects......but I was as unhappy as I have ever been whilst in it.
The current Mrs. JtH is my life-partner. I adore her and will grow old with her. My heart swells at the thought of her; the best sound of the day is that of her key in the door after work. But no, I don't get the symptoms of 'passionate' love and I'm grateful for that.............it was exhausting and I'm no longer prepared to trade-off the lows for the highs.
I'm not sure that I have explained it terribly well but I think you'll be surprised at the depth of feeling you actually hold for your new girl; it just doesn't feel as 'strong' when compared to your past love...........
Stick with it but if the doubts continue to grow, then perhaps she isn't right for you and only you will truly know that and when.