Any Advice??

[curious_cat]

I am proud that I havn't lost my virginity to some stranger or one night stand though if I could actually find someone I loved enough I feel ready to have sex but the problem is that I'm so nervous! Not to be arrogant but people are always really surprised that I'm a virgin because I'm pretty so they wouldn't expect it. The thing is I havn't actually ever done anything with a guy... I was never one for boyfriends when I was younger so it just didn't happen as I never wanted to get imitate with someone I wasn't going out with, I wouldn't trust them enough. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on the whole thing but now that I'm ready I'm very scared of what will be expected or how embarrassing it could be as I have no experience at all.... any tips on how to calm down or just general thoughts??

[curious_cat]

ps. What makes it worse is that the guys I like always tend to be experienced... lets face it most people are at 20 (and younger!). I just don't want to end up feeling pathetic and embarrassed. I know if the guy I end up with for my first end loves me it won't matter, but in reality, is it as simple as that??

[topogigo]

I think you are right to have done things your way, but if you are ready to make things different you should remember that we all have to have a first time. Unless you are trying for a baby which i think you aren't, then sex is for fun, let it be that way. You will learn how to make it more fun each time, that's the how it is. Wait for someone that is easy to be with, and that you can trust, and that with who you can be honest about it being your first time, tell them, people can deal with the truth when they know it. Not every one will disregard your feelings. If you are concerned about what to do, find some soft porn on the net, i truly believe this would help as you can see people doing what people do. It isn't perverted or disgraceful, just try it.
Good luck babe

[Ice.Maiden]

I wouldn't worry about things until you find the right man, first! Then when you feel comfortable in his company, things should just happen naturally. The first time is often a let down, but with practice you'll find what suits you. Remember to use contraception - and just enjoy yourself!

[jno]

I think Ice.Maiden is right. Don't put pressure on yourself. Look for a good man rather than looking for experience (I'm not saying they're all that easy to find). Once you've found one, the rest shouldn't be a problem - a really good man won't be rushing you. It'll always be a bit awkward for the first time, maybe uncomfortable; but it improves pretty quickly with practice. The thing is to find someone you want to practise with.

[beso]

I sense somehow that when you find the right guy he will be sensitive and sensible enough not go the whole way the first (or even the second time) that you are intimate. There really is no hurry and by the time it happens you will be ready for it. If you let him no you don't want to rush it will really help and how he reacts will tell you a lot about his character as well.

[tufty7]

Faith has been restored, well done to you , I tell you when you do meet someone you really like you will know when its right , there are loads of blokeys out there who just want to park and ride, a man will respect you far more the way you are , there is always good old fashioned petting , hand jobs and fingering , it gets you flowing without the aggro ....lol just stay in control !!

[topogigo]

Dear me tufty 7, How old are you 12?

[raysparx1]

Hello curious, when you meet who you feel is the right one all will be ok it will just happen and when you are in love it will not be in the least bit embarrasing, nature takes over and your instincts will kick in, and you will do what you feel comfortable with, it will get better as well with experience, but whatever you do never feel under pressure to do anything you aren't happy to do, take care and i hope you meet the right man, Ray xx

[cymruambyth1]

Curious, I was never into boyfriends but then met a lad, and we kind of messed around to begin with, he was experienced and I had no experience whatsoever, but you will be surprise how much lack of experience is NOT an issue!! You just learn what each other likes and you will soon become comfortable with each other. I am now 23 and have recently got a new boyfriend, and it is like having your first time all over again because it is someone new, but like I say you soon become comfortble witheach other and u soon forget you ever had any worries about it. X

[curious_cat]

Thanks for all the answers, it is surprising how supportive strangers can be! My email hasnt been telling me that I had replies to my question so what a surprise it was to log in and find that so many people had told me I am doing the right thing. You'll be happy to hear that my new years resolution is to relax more and not take things so seriously. Hope you all have a happy 2008!