Should I Tell or Not?

[milly143]

OK, I will try to keep this simple. I work in a pub with a girl, lets call here Jane. Janes is dating one of the customers, we will call him Paul. Jane and I also work with a girl we will call Emma. Then there is a 3rd person, Lucy, who myself, Emma and Paul know as a friend. Jane and Paul have been dating for a couple of months but Paul has quite a bad reputation as a bit of a womaniser. Jane is aware of this but has chosen to come to her own conclusions. Paul, Emma and Lucy are all fairly close but Emma and Lucy seem to really hate Jane and very very bitchy behind her back, for no apparent reason. Over the past few days Jane has been telling me how Paul has seemed very distant and she is worried about their relationship but she is absolutely smitten with him. She also said how she knows Emma has told Paul she doesn't like Jane and he is spending alot of time with Emma (although there is nothing going on). I bumped in to Lucy the other day who told me she had been with Emma and Paul and he had said to him the relationship was over and the only reason he hasn't finished it is because it was xmas. My dilemma is that Jane seems so concerned and desperate for something to work with them but Paul is telling people its already over. I also can't stand to see Emma and Lucy laughing and jane behind her back. Having seen them, I definately think it is just a form of bullying which as we are all in our 20's is utterly pathetic. I have tried not to get involved before but I don't think I can watch as 3 people seemingly gang up on Jane, who seems to be quite an emotional little thing as it is. So, what do I do. Do I tell Jane that I think Paul is messing her around and to get rid of him or do I tell him to stop being an arse and be honest with her. Any advice would be very much appreciated.

[beverleymot]

do both- or make him aware u know whats goin on- if has any decency he will clean his act up

[lou 26]

To be honest I wouldn't say a thing. As harsh as that sounds Ive been in a situation similar to this a while back and I did say something as the girl involved was a very good friend of mine until i said something. She was so smitten with the guy that she didnt thank me for it and I lost a good friend. As much as it upsets you to watch what is going on I would keep quiet and just be there if she needs you. Things sometimes work out completely different to what you would imagine and you could end up falling out with all of them.

[mountainboo]

You sound like a good person milly I like that you have so much empathy for this person. However I agree with lou, the messenger always gets shot. But one thing I would say is that when Emma and Lucy decide to have another bitch behind Janes back, remind them of A. how old they are and B. how would they feel if someone bitched behind their backs. You are right, it is definately bullying. It really ****** me off that people our age can still be so damn nasty towards others. Good luck anyway

[Ice.Maiden]

Totally agree with Lou & Mountainboo. Much as you worry for Jane, I think it's best you don't get involved. You sound like a caring person, so don't stand by and listen to Emma & Lucy with their verbal bullying. Remind them of how unpleasant they're sounding, and then try and change the subject.

[MiniN]

wow - thats keeping it simple!! i did get a bit lost but think i got the gist of it.

its good your concerned but i dont think you should say anything because if it is bullying the bullys might turn on you, plus jane needs to work it out on her own.

i would suggest just being a good friend to jane and not particapating in any of the b#tchiness that is going on and making everyone know its not fair or very adult.