Feelings for a best friend...

[suzilovebest]

I think i'm starting to get feelings for one of my closest friends, i've no idea how it started and i don't really feel physically attracted to him, but when he talks about his current girlfriend i get jealous.
i've had feelings for a close friend before and i know it can ruin friendships, i don't know whether to tell him or not???

*confused*


xXx

[x_Leila_x]

The only way your going to feel better is by telling him - but as you said it may ruin things, i was in the same situation but the other way round - i just didnt see my mate that way!! And well now we dont talk - but the only way he could feel better was to tell me, and im glad he did - i wouldnt want my friend all confussd and feeling upset - what does your heart tell you to do ?? x x x

[andy-hughes]

It's jsut a feeling that he 'shares' himsewlf with another woman, even if it is only on an emotional basis. Jelousy is wanting something someone else has got, so you won;t worry too much if they are sleeping together - that's not your relationship with him, no issue in her having something you don;t have with him. Sharing secrets and thoughts, that's different, and that is on 'your' territory.

My advice? Say nothing. his relationship may not last, and it would be a shame to jepardise your relationship with him over this. If it becomes long-term, and it still bothers you, that's the time for a discussion.

If you can say nothing without it upseting you, or affecting your friendship, it's best left, what he doesn;t know won;t hurt him.

[China Doll]

Be careful with this. You say you're not physically attracted to them (this is an important part of any relationship and should not be brushed under the carpet) but you get jealous when he talks about his current girlfriend. I think you should look at why you're jealous, is it the time he's spending with her? Their relationship? (As in would you like someone to talk about you and care for you like that?) Or do you really have actual feelings for them? From where I'm typing it doesn't necessarily sound like you do and that the jealousy could stem from elsewhere.

If you do a bit of soul searching and decide you really do like him then if they're particularly strong then tell him. You'll feel better at least and if you're really friends then it will survive this (speak from some experience). If you think your feelings might just be a passing phase then don't act on them and instead re-focus on going out and enjoying yourself and perhaps not being around him so much.

Good luck.

[SKA]

I think Andy is right relationships dont always last but friendships do!! I wouldn't risk a friendship!