ChatterBank0 min ago
Racist relationship
8 Answers
Okay. I am not racist or anything. The guy that I really like is Asian and I am Irish/German. I have asked my buds about it before and they say, "Race don't matter." which I totally agree with it, but if I were to go out on a date with him, don't you think it would be a bit strange to other people? Also my dad is very prejudist and although he denies it, I think he is pretty racist. Would that turn into a problem if he found out about it?
Answers
1 to 8 of 8
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by Hearts_Grow_. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
No one can be sure if there will be a problem with your dad. But if race isn't a problem for you then you have every right to expect him to get over any problem he may have. If your friend treats him openly and respectfully he should be able to see that he is just a human being like anyone else.
Many Australians are decendents of Irish and German immigrants and relationships are not uncommon with decendents of Chinese people who have lived here for generations. Also with an increasing number of the children of Asian immigrants who came here from the 1970 onwards.
In the nothern parts of the continent relationships with people from southern Asia and the Pacific islands are very common. I doubt that it is considered unusual by most Australians.
Most of the best looking Aussies I have seen are the children of mixed race marriages.
Many Australians are decendents of Irish and German immigrants and relationships are not uncommon with decendents of Chinese people who have lived here for generations. Also with an increasing number of the children of Asian immigrants who came here from the 1970 onwards.
In the nothern parts of the continent relationships with people from southern Asia and the Pacific islands are very common. I doubt that it is considered unusual by most Australians.
Most of the best looking Aussies I have seen are the children of mixed race marriages.
I don't think it matters in the slightest and your dad would have to except him, and as i assume you like him as he is nice guy among other things, then your dad would hopefully see this too.
But i think before you think about that too much, find out if he likes you too otherwise you are worrying over something that may not happen
But i think before you think about that too much, find out if he likes you too otherwise you are worrying over something that may not happen
It depends on what religion he is, rather then what region he is descended from as a marker of how he may treat you in the future.
It may be a big problem with your Dad but you have no control over that. If you go out with him and he treats you consistently well, with respect and love, then ultimately your Dad (unless he's a complete bigot) will see how happy you are and get over his fear.
It may be a big problem with your Dad but you have no control over that. If you go out with him and he treats you consistently well, with respect and love, then ultimately your Dad (unless he's a complete bigot) will see how happy you are and get over his fear.
Hi. Interesting topic. If you like someone irrespective of race, you would go out with them to assess whether this is a relationship that could lead to something more, or not. I susupect that you are jumping the gun as if you go out on a few dates, whats the problem. Afterwards you will know if it is a relationship that you both want to develop deeper, and I think thats when your concerns about father would have to be explored. I am aware that many asians dont date or marry out of their own race, so that is also something you will have to ponder but a couple of dates where you get to know each other I dont believe would be so much of a problem.
The true test of intergration is would you object to one of "them" going out with your sister.
Your father is almost certainly the least of your problems. I have had real experience of this (I was once engaged to a Chinese woman) the Brits were'nt the problem, but alot of Chinese would pull faces at us (one waiter in particular at a restaurant once) her mother never accepted me and in the end she destroyed what we had. Cue several renditions of "Embarrassment" by Madness.
Sub-continental Asians (Indians and Pakistanis) have very strict "rules" about dating they have a caste system and also "honour" to observe, there are numerous stories of violence, intimadation and murder involving inter ethnic dating, one story included a man and his now wife having to live in safe houses with changed identities after her family put a bounty on their heads.
I'm halfway towards the altar with another Chinese woman whose family are accepting (they have been from the beginning) but you're going to have to develop a thick skin, because there will be tensions all around you.
Martin Luther King said "whenever you try to build a creative temple of peace someone will come along and try to destroy it, but what self centered (sic) people tear down, other centered people must build up" I wish you both good luck for the future, you will need it.
Your father is almost certainly the least of your problems. I have had real experience of this (I was once engaged to a Chinese woman) the Brits were'nt the problem, but alot of Chinese would pull faces at us (one waiter in particular at a restaurant once) her mother never accepted me and in the end she destroyed what we had. Cue several renditions of "Embarrassment" by Madness.
Sub-continental Asians (Indians and Pakistanis) have very strict "rules" about dating they have a caste system and also "honour" to observe, there are numerous stories of violence, intimadation and murder involving inter ethnic dating, one story included a man and his now wife having to live in safe houses with changed identities after her family put a bounty on their heads.
I'm halfway towards the altar with another Chinese woman whose family are accepting (they have been from the beginning) but you're going to have to develop a thick skin, because there will be tensions all around you.
Martin Luther King said "whenever you try to build a creative temple of peace someone will come along and try to destroy it, but what self centered (sic) people tear down, other centered people must build up" I wish you both good luck for the future, you will need it.
It doesn't matter at all. Once you get to know this guy properly, you'll know if he's worth hanging onto, whatever he is or where he comes from. Everton's right though, in as much as Asians usually observe a strict code, and it's THOSE parents who might object to YOU. If you ended up with this person, you may be expected to change your religion at the very least, but that's jumping the gun a bit. Just enjoy your dates, and see how it goes. If it all works out, any bigotry should disappear once everyone sees how happy you both are.
Don't let your dad's prejudices affect your judgement on whether or not you should go out with this guy AT ALL. It is your choice, your decision.
One thing I would be careful of, my boyfriend is Asian and though we've been together for a year now I'm still a secret from his parents as I'm not Muslim and they are very religious. Find out if this Asian guy is religious and what he thinks about the prospect of getting together or settling down with someone from a different race/religion. I think you have to be careful of not falling in love with someone who may only view you as a bit of fun.
One thing I would be careful of, my boyfriend is Asian and though we've been together for a year now I'm still a secret from his parents as I'm not Muslim and they are very religious. Find out if this Asian guy is religious and what he thinks about the prospect of getting together or settling down with someone from a different race/religion. I think you have to be careful of not falling in love with someone who may only view you as a bit of fun.
This issue has many aspects you may or may not want to consider. Really, it is all down to you and how you feel, but as much as one can say it doesnt matter what your dad thinks, it may matter if, for arguments sake, choose to marry / have children with this guy.
I worked with victims of racism and one may find it surprising that even family members can outwardly be racist to someone that has become part of theri family. I am not saying you should let this put you off, but you should consider the little things in life, that often go unnoticed when you are in a relationship with someone from your own race or religion, such as how much does religion mean to you, if you haev children, what would you teach them, would there be a dispute about the role of women in the home, as in Asian culture, even in modern day Britian, there can still be expectations about which gender does what....I am not stereo-typing, I am just saying that when it coems down to it,in life, it is the smaller things that matter, as dsagreements with these often reveal deeper rooted issues that lead to bigger problems.
Love is the basis of a relationship, and thousands of people live happy lives in mixed race relationships; dealing with the views of family members is always going to be there, regardlessof racism or prejudice....they can not like the way you dress, they can be judgmental if you havent been to university, or that you cant cook, etc etc.
I think it's best to look at the bigger picture and weigh up all the pros and cons. At the end of the day it is your life and you will decide how you want to love it. Just remember the guy you like should be someone you like for who heis and vice versa, and that is a good start.
I worked with victims of racism and one may find it surprising that even family members can outwardly be racist to someone that has become part of theri family. I am not saying you should let this put you off, but you should consider the little things in life, that often go unnoticed when you are in a relationship with someone from your own race or religion, such as how much does religion mean to you, if you haev children, what would you teach them, would there be a dispute about the role of women in the home, as in Asian culture, even in modern day Britian, there can still be expectations about which gender does what....I am not stereo-typing, I am just saying that when it coems down to it,in life, it is the smaller things that matter, as dsagreements with these often reveal deeper rooted issues that lead to bigger problems.
Love is the basis of a relationship, and thousands of people live happy lives in mixed race relationships; dealing with the views of family members is always going to be there, regardlessof racism or prejudice....they can not like the way you dress, they can be judgmental if you havent been to university, or that you cant cook, etc etc.
I think it's best to look at the bigger picture and weigh up all the pros and cons. At the end of the day it is your life and you will decide how you want to love it. Just remember the guy you like should be someone you like for who heis and vice versa, and that is a good start.
1 to 8 of 8
