morally right time to get married?

[redders01]

my boyfriend and i are both 26, totally in love and both want to get married, we have been together only 6 months, but we know what we have is special, i would be quite happy to get married now, but i wondered, when time wise it is 'morally' right to get married?

[cazzz1975]

personally I would wait a little bit longer, maybe even just get engaged, it takes a lot longer to learn about a person than 6 months, also you have to look at the boring stuff like financial commitments, weddings are expensive, even a modest one, what are his thoughts about the future?

[redders01]

oh i appreciate its not gonna happen next week, but i guess within a year to 18 months of being together it would be cool to engaged wouldnt it? i always used to think you had to have been together years before getting married, but i just wondered when people would think it was too soon? he wants to get married and we have talked about it, but nothing more.

[cazzz1975]

a year to 18 months sounds fine to me

[cuddleMe]

6 months is way tooo soooon, i think 3yrs would be ideal.

some guy asked me to get engaged on our first date! (in 2003) i freaked out. and didnt see him after that! lol he understood. :S

[sleepyj]

been with my bf 19 years so you got a few years yet lol

[ChocolatChip]

Are you living together at the moment? And if so how long for?
I knew I wanted to marry my partner the first week that we met, we're so very right for each other and know that our relationship is special.
We've only been together about 16 months, but moved in together about 6 months ago. I've found our relationship a lot more stressful with living together, seeing each other 24/7 working, cleaning, cooking, sharing. And we live with my parents, so we don't have to worry about bills!
Although some people get married within 3 months of meeting, I think it's too soon.
Like others have stated, you still haven't learnt everything about each other.
You'd need to talk to him (and maybe your family) about the future, and when is the best time.
And marriage is just a piece of paper, no-one needs marriage to prove that their relationship is strong.

[cazzz1975]

oh I thought a year to 18 months before you got engaged not married, I would give it a couple of years (2-4 years)

marriage is a big commitment

[Lucy Thomas]

Don't listen to anyone else. Only you and him will know when the right time is to marry. I got engaged after 1 week. Eighteen years and three children later we're still together.

[ChocolatChip]

Lucy, may I ask, how long were you engaged for? And had you known your partner long before you got together?

[Lucy Thomas]

We met a week before we got engaged and married ten months later. We would have got married sooner but you can't really plan a wedding overnight can you.

By the way, he's not my partner, he's my husband. The Thomas household is a PC free zone.

[Katie~77]

We got engaged two months after we starting going out together. Five months later we were married. Seemed like a really good idea at the time.x

[Lucy Thomas]

So what happened?

[Katie~77]

We have been married for six and a half years and he gets on my wick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!x

[ChocolatChip]

That's a bit of an odd thing to say. Surely he's your partner AND your husband.
And that's fair enough to you, but that seems like a very rare occurance nowadays where people stay together. People get married on the spur of the moment, in rushed hormones and emotions lets say. And they divorce because they didn't realise the differences in the time that they'd been together.

[Lucy Thomas]

The term 'partner' is a modern term invented to cover the ever increasing number of unmarried couples in long term relationships. I am married to a man which makes him my husband. I am his wife.

Simple.

[ChocolatChip]

Okkkkay. Interesting reasoning.

[wiggal]

Hey,

I have been with my boyfriend 4 years on 23rd March, and would love to get engaged! But we also said when we met that we would not think of getting married until we had been together 5 years, and no thought of kids til I was 25 and he was 30.
At the mo, I really want to get engaged and we have talked about getting married, its now just down to me waiting and him deciding when he feels the time is right.

We made the decisions we did when we were first together because I was only 17, he was 22, and we both knew that alot of things change as you get older and when living together!

My boss and good friend has said that when she sees him at my 21st next weekend, she is going to give him a good talking to and want to know why he has not proposed yet, I warned him of this! To which he laughed and said his reply would be when I learn to cook and clean!

[*Princess*]

I don't know about a 'morally' right, as that sounds like you're pleasing others - you should follow your heart and do what feels right for you. I've a friend who is getting married in the Summer, her and her boyfriend are happy as they are but their families are pushing 'morals' on them, saying it's not right to live together before married and it's a sin etc. If you're questioning when the right time to get married is, maybe you're not ready to go into such a big commitment? Not saying you don't love eachother, but it is a MASSIVE step!

That said if you felt ready to get married in a week go for it! Only you know how you feel!

[figure]

I think you should follow your heart.

[mirela]

one of my friend engaged afte 3 months then got merried after few motnhs later,they seem very happy still.