rather drink than spend time with daughter

[tink1911]

i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years now and it has got to the point where i have had enough. we have got a 7 month old baby and he would rather go out drinking every night he is home instead of spending time with our beautiful little girl.

we currently live with my mum but he works away in the week so he is only home at weekends, as soon as he gets home he wants to go and see his friends, and his excuse is that my mum gets on his nerves. i really want to get out of the relationship but am too scared to do it. please help me!!!!

[beso]

The relationship is a fizzer for sure. Start by identifying exactly what you are afraid of and working at those concerns.

[unhappychick]

Firstly you have to ask yourself this....if your fella was happy to stay at home with you and your daughter would you be happy to continue with the relationship? I think if the answer to that is yes, you have to make steps to maybe get out of your mums house and get a place of your own where you can start being a proper family...if theres not enough money coming in the council will help you. Not sure why your scared to get out of the relationship, is he violent?

[mimie]

Hi Tink,
Was he always like this? Before the baby was born? Why are you scared to get out of this relationship?
I lived with a drinker for 7 yrs and despite numerous promises to change, he never did i'm afraid and I know from experience that this changes their personality.............
What exactly are you and the baby getting from a bf who is gone all week and out all wkend?
If I were you I would go to lots of mother and baby groups and extend your social circle. Get some confidence back. If you are living with your mum I would hope that you could just tell him he cannot come back to her house at weekends anymore, if that is what you really want?

[RevFunk]

I would imagine he was like this before the baby was born.

Get out of it now.

If a man has to be told he should spend time with his child as oppossed to going out on the lash there is no future

[unrulyjulie]

Agree with Rev here, personal experience tells me how drink can take over family life to the point where that is more important than anything. You will have NO family life as it has to revolve around his next beer.

Sadly, its the children who miss out but i'd say its better to end it now than to spend years of misery with someone who puts you and your daughter lower on his list of priorities than his drink.

all the best. x

[unrulyjulie]

Oh, and don't be scared hun, there is a lot of help and support out there, think things through clearly and make a get out plan, it will all start to become clear in your mind as to what youre doing. Been there, seen it and done it .
and for the record, the mother is an excuse.