again on internet dating

[Hgrove]

I received some good advice recently but I would like to ask again. To recap, when I was going to meet someone in the flesh, I asked him for a landline for security and he disappeared. The feedback I got here was that I had done the right thing. Recently I was going to meet someone else and again asked for a landline, this time on the telephone, and he refused because "he had to think about his own security". This time I went ahead because we were meeting in a coffee shop where I am a regular and I knew if things got dodgy I was on "home ground". Everything was fine actually - I don't know if I shall see him again - I am waiting for him to make the next move - but the question is, what do I do if everyone I arrange to meet, refuses to give me their landline? Do I refuse to meet them all? What else can I do? Or is it just bad luck that the first two I was going to meet were reluctant ? Many thanks!

[Lakitu]

How is a landline number secure? What if they don't have a landline? I'm in a minority of my circle of friends to have a landline, most only have a mobile.

If you're concerned for your safety about meeting up with them, then can you arrange fora friend to pick you up at a certain time (or sooner if he isn't what you thought). If you hit it off with the chap, then you can always arrange to meet up again very soon and you'll maybe feel secure enough to not want to arrange anything?

I can see the guys point, I wouldn't give out my landline, veryfew people know my landline number.

[sara3]

maybe while you're doing the coffee shop kind of dates it's okay, but if you're thinking of going to their home, or vice versa, you do have to be careful. would you give out your landline? it's not a big deal for me..

personally, I'd like to feel I could trust someone but maybe you can push someone away if you sound like you're too suspicious.

if you meet more than a couple of times I think it's reasonable to have a landline at that stage.

always trust your instincts, and good luck!

[Hgrove]

Well, I thought having a landline would be a basic rule of safety because a mobile no. is "virtually untraceable" I gather, whereas with a landline, if the man turns out to be a psychopath, they can be tracked down...

[Barmaid]

I always think a landline number is a good indication of whether they are married or not, never mind security. But I see their point about not wanting to give out a landline because there are as many crazy women out there as blokes.

I think as long as you meet in a busy public place that you know well, make sure you never leave your drink unattended or allow him to buy you one and have a friend or two on standby who knows all the details, together with a bit of common sense, a landline number is neither here nor there.

[Lakitu]

A mobile isn't untraceable though, even PAYG sims have to be registered. The chances are that befo you agree to meet, you are texting at the very least, what's to stop them giving you a fake number? The number of a phone box?

[Hgrove]

Of course! Thanks for the advice. Actually this time I let the guy buy me a cappuccino. It was 3.30pm last Sunday afternoon so not dark (which would have made it easier to slip something in the cup...)
Fortunately, everything was fine... No idea whether he'll contact me again though!

[Hgrove]

Well, the idea of the landline was that I would ring him to check he was actually there... harder to do with a phone box no.... but anyway it was just an idea and from the replies I am getting, it seems it was not the most sensible idea perhaps?

[Lakitu]

I'm not saying it wasn't sensible, honey, just that there may be a valid reason for not gving you a number (no landline) or if they wanted to get away with being a bar steward, it maybe wouldn't be all that difficult. Please don't take being able to call him on a landline at face value and take extra precautions.

I don't believe I'm saying this, but somemen are quite nice and maybe just private of their privacy so wouldn't want to give out that info, because I wouldn't either. xx

[Octavius]

I definitely would not give my landline number to anyone I didn't know well enough to trust with it.

[Hgrove]

Thank you for all the replies...

[luckyman]

one of two reasons....he is either married or in a relationship or if hes just finished a relationship and there is a chance of his x coming back......or if he doesnt fancy u on the first date he doesnt want u stalking him again and knowing his home phone number.....oh the third reason is maybe he is dodgy or thinks ur dodgy...better just meet somewhere u know is safe....dont give up youll find someone soon enough...best of luck

[R1Geezer]

There's another reason luckman. He don't know her from adam, there are bunnyboilers out there you know, maybe he's being carful. A mate of mine ended up with a stalker off a dating site, nightmare!

[Hgrove]

Oh dear... I am no bunny boiler... honest... nor do I want to get involved with a married man...!

[goldilocks1]

U guys! I have so enjoyed reading this thread of messages u have brightened up my afternoon. On the internet dating lark tho I have heard that the Sarah Beeny site 'my single friend.com' is quite a good one to be on and you can read comments about the person u are interested in from their mates. Oh yeah my mate met her current boyfriend off the internet and he is lovely, they have just moved in together actually. I think that the advice that u have been given has been good and that as long as someone knows where you are and you meet in a public place u should be fine. Good luck x