Waiting it out for someone you have never met

[NeverendingR]

I recently met a guy online & we immediatly clicked. We have so much in common and we just get along like a house on fire!

Not to mention he is utterly gorgeous & I don't think I've ever seen a man who I was so attracted to! Everything about him I have fallen for. From his character, to his talents, to his good looks, to his modesty.

But I am in England & he is in Canada.

We email, we msn, we skype, we webcam, & we text everyday.
We aren't in a "relationship", but we have discussed how great it would be. However both of us had said if we did it, we'd have to do it properly. No long distance thing, hopping a plane whenever we can.

He has plans to move to London for work (he had these plans before he knew me by the way), but they aren't set in stone as, of course, he may not find a job here.

We both still consider ourselves single & on the market. I dont know whether I should take myself off to wait for him or whether I am being stupid in case things dont work out in the long run & there arent any sparks between us when we do meet.

I would say I was the kind of girl who goes on a lot of dates but I am definitely not the kind of girl who always has a boyfriend.
So my friends have said "continuing to date can't hurt", but what if he does get here and I have found someone by that point.
This is what scares me. What do I do?
I really really do like this guy a hell of a lot.

[sara3]

I think you need to meet asap, and see if he is as good as he seems in the real world.

the internet is a great place where you can come across as anything the other person wants you to be, and before you invest much more emotion I think you should find out if he is all he appears to be.

good luck.. these things can work :o)

[China Doll]

You're not in a relationship at all, for that to actually happen the same 3ft of space need to be occupied at least once. As you say, you've no idea if there would be a spark or not.

I would suggest that one of you visits the other persons country, (if he's moving to London then perhaps he might like to come over for a wee holiday first) and while there you have a coffee or something. That should tell you if there are any sparks and an informed decision can be made from there.

For my own part I would make absoulte decisions on my life based on the possibility of an if. It's just not rational.

[BagPussAA]

You need to see if he is the one. You must visit one another and see if the spark is as good in person as it is at a distance. I think it owe it to each other to try. These things definately work out. That is how I met Mr Bagpuss and we have never been happier. If things dont work out then at least you have tried. It wont kill either of you to wait for a little while without dating anyone else, just to see if it works.

[Muppetto]

Sounds like an exciting prospect, but I personally wouldn't rule everything out for this guy. I'd say stay on the market, plan to meet him, try and stay single unless someone with enough interest to override this guy comes into your life, and see how things go.

I'd also say please be careful - not because you're meeting up with a guy you met on the net, but just because he could be very different in person to the way he is long distance. I'm speaking from experience - I met a guy online years ago, became completely smitten with him, talked every day etc etc, thought I knew him implicitly, but it turns out a lot of his life was a facade, and his confidence was way below what he inferred online and over the phone. Because I'd declared my 'love' for him before we had even met (stupid stupid stupid of me), when we did, I felt oblidged to go along with the relationship, even though I felt I'd made a mistake.
Not saying any of this is going to happen to you, but just be careful what you commit to before you meet!

Best of luck! :)

[Le Chat]

I would agree that you need to meet up before you start having romantic ideas. You could be wasting time, energy and life if you put your life on hold. You may do this without being totally ware that you are doing it!!
Having said that, I met my husband on yahoo messenger quite by chance! That was 8 yrs ago and I must say that we hit it off and chatted for about 4 months before we met. We live in the same town, which was handy!
Neither of us had exaggerated or lied about who we were, what we did or what we wanted, so when we met, it was a continuation of what we had started.
A lovely by-product of this story is that if I had met my husband say in a bar or club, I wouldn't have been attracted to him as he 'isn't my type' but as I'd got to know him a little already, it really didn't matter as I knew I liked the person behind the words! Although you need to be aware that even days of typing back and forth to each other is so much less than talking for even 15 mins!
I so want to know what will happen next in this story NeverendingR...........