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it's not even that, just wondered if anyone else had been in this situation and had felt angry rather than thinking, god it was so long a go can't even remember exactly how I felt about him at that time! thanks for all your answers though, have talked to him and he promises it was just the one time which is what I was expecting anyway, seems very strange to think that if he'd told me when it happened I may have thought twice about carrying in the relationship and where would I be now, in that sense I'm glad he kept it from me, seems so insignificant now!