Help please

[GINGER BIRD]

why does my partner talk about his ex who hurt him ? he doesnt talk nice stuff or even nasty stuff its matter of fact stuff and it really pees me off ? am i reacting wrongly and how can i stop feeling like this . he loves me i love him im the best thing that ever happened to him .ive been married and i dont talk about my ex . men why do u do this > and women how shall i cope ? thanks

[MiniN]

ginger, how long have you been with your partner? I remember in the first 6-12 months of my relationship, me and my partner both spoke about our ex's.

try not to let it bother you as he is probably just talking about his ex as she was part of his past. if he's openly discussing this, it probably means he has no feelings for her and is treating his ex like any other memory which he wants to share with you.

why does it annoy you ginger?

[GINGER BIRD]

we ve been together 2 years and its probly cos im a bit run down it wopuldnt normally bother me . i know past is past praps i should start talking bout my exes and see what it does to him ? x

[MiniN]

not sure you should do it to wind him up though.

its normal to talk about your past and your ex's. if its getting at you at the moment, why not try to subtely change the subject when he starts talking about his ex?

[RevFunk]

Just mention the fact that your ex was better endowed than him and you wont hear another peep

[andy-hughes]

I'd agree with Minin - if your partner is simply talking rather than ranting or looking whistful, he is simply exorcising his feelings.

The fact that he feels comofrtble doing this to you is actually a very big plus for your relationship - it shows he feels comfortable discussing his issues, and most men don;t do that easily at all.

Try and roll with it - if he gets obsessive, talk to him about why he thinks about her, but don;t discourage him from talking - most women moan that their partners don't talk enough!

If it's knocking your self esteem, try a few subtle hints about feeling a litle unloved, i am sure he will respond with some reassurance.

[GINGER BIRD]

Thanks so much guys especially andy i feel much better now we had a heart to heart and its all done now ! ........til next time ! xx thansk again ! oh and rev i didnt know u knew him !

[luckyman]

i have been guilty of this too!! but loosen up he doent mean to hurt u ...i dont know why men do it...i never meant to hurt my wife o make her feel jealous,,,maybe woman are just bitchy and jealous whenever an x is mentioned.....i know previous girls have spoke to me about x,s but it didnt bother me.......

relax he is with u now