need help being assertive

[catcuddler]

not sure if this is in the right section apologies if not
i need to confront a friend about a bouncing cheque.i think i am too nice as i dont want to come across as agressive or accusing but i need some answers.ideally i would say where the hells my money but that wouldnt help.basically what i wanna say is the cheque bounced so when will i get my money and did you knowit would bounce.i dont want to threaten legal action til i have had a civilised convo.i quite like the person so wanna be reasonable.
Can anyone tell me how to be assertive and get answers especially if the person is evasive?
sorry for the essay
all answers appreciated

[Rtaxron]

catcuddler,

Stay as you are, a NICE PERSON.

We are lacking people like you in this Country, so just learn not to be so soft in the future and teach yourself to say no. : - )

And certainly don't waste your money on a hypnotherapist!

[catcuddler]

Rtaxron thanx 4 that you have cheered me up.i will try and stay nice but not get walked all over.i guess i believed the numerous promises and there have been dozens that i would get my money back.should i just turn up or say i am going round?

[Rtaxron]

If you just turned up, they would probably say they don't have the money on them.
Best to phone first and ask them what time you could call to collect.

Good Luck.

[Lord Unstone]

Your friend will know that the cheque has bounced, and will have known it was going to bounce even before you did, so don't feel awkward about asking for cash, and right away!

[ceejn]

Get unembarrassed quick,just say ,"The cheque you paid me has bounced,"don't add anymore than that,look her in the eye and wait for a reply.I suspect shes playing on your 'niceness' and hoping you wont bring it up.Grrrr! She knows!!!!

[catcuddler]

i did call round today but no answer.just had a text saying will c u 2moro.so when i c them i will confront and do my best to be assertive.ceejn i think your right the person knows i am right and maybe thinks i am naive.i dont think the person is bad maybe just a chancer.i will have a good talk to them to try and sort it as i dont wanna go through small claims court unless i really have to.thanx again for all advice :-D

[ceejn]

If like me,you work too hard for your money to give it away .Good Luck

[Velvetee]

I would say, the lesson to be learnt here, is don't lend anymore money, especially to this particular "friend".

[catcuddler]

i know that velvetee and i will stick to it.the person has replied to my txts and will check whats going on with his bank so i will keep u posted