Love

[Lov3shy]

Well, I've got myself a girlfriend - well, I did last week anyway. We were great mates me and her, and she was starting to hint that she fancied me (attempting to hold my hand at one point). I could tell she meant it because she never used to be like this at first - anyway, she asked me out. I had to think about it because I wasn't sure. She isn't (in my honest opinion) the most attractive fish in the sea, but she has a personality which really strikes for it cheers me up. I said yes to her.

Now the problem, I do love her but I feel that being mates is better. She loves me dearly though - I don't want to break her heart because she is a really lovely person - one of my 2 best friends (obviously girlfriend now).
What should I do because I want to go back to being friends but because she loves me loads, I just feel that it would be difficult.

I am handy in relationships myself (I would give it an extra week to see how things are going) but I want to know how you would solve this - it is inspiring

Thanks

[Leapers]

Be honest! dont tell her a tale that your not ready for commitment or anything like that because if she was one of your best friends then she can probably tell when your lying. but dont be too harsh either unless you dont want her as a friend either.

Also just because shes not as attractive as you think she should be or to someone you have compared her to doesnt mean she's not worthy of her affections you should have thought about it more carefully when she first asked instead of geting her hopes up. alternatively if you had wanted to date her you wouldn't of had to think about it.

[maplestar]

maybe let her know that you wanted to give it a shot, but turns out [be honest and don't use a euphemism; be straight!] that you just don't see her in a girlfriend way; and you dont want to lose her as a best mate. the longer it goes on, the worse for her and the worse for you... good luck. x

[Tups]

My son had a long-term 'mate' when at school. They were very close, platonically. They then started 'dating'. He soon realised is was like, to use his words, 'kissing his sister!' Maybe you should tell her that you miss being unconditional friends and you don't want to risk that lovely friendship by messing it up with 'love stuff'. Tell her that young love rarely lasts and you want your friendship to last forever. I don't see how she won't accept that. Good luck. (But as the others say, don't lie to her. Friends don't do that!)

[happyone2]

Whatever you do, do it nicely.................

This very situation happened to me and in fact , i would have to say this could have been written by him exactly to the word.......................... !!

But, he informed me that i wasnt "the one" and that it was my fault he was now so upset, because he had felt obliged to say yes to going out with me because i liked him....................................and really he hadnt wanted to !!!
( so why did he sleep with me i wondered ??)

I could accept me not being "the one" , but i couldnt accept that he had to be so bloody hurtful in the way he told me - and when he said he wanted to stay friends, i couldnt because a friend would have been more caring, more thoughtful and kind.

Good luck

[beso]

You are kidding yourself about love. I doubt you have a clue.

[Lov3shy]

Yup, your answers wre exactly what I would do (As said, I just needed to check with others to make sure for I lack self-belief)

What you've said is absolutely true and lying makes things worse; I liked her but I feel things are not going to last for I feel not ready anymore

And beso, I know what I am doing! You'd be surprised
My friends come to me for relationship advice (I had to ask them to calm down with their problems for I can't keep up to date with 50 separate problems at one time). I just asked this to see if this was what others would do and yes, I was right all along