Going out with your husband/boyfriend

[liquidspace]

I live with my boyfriend of 6 years. We are going out on Friday together and meeting another couple in a bar.

We are both getting ready at home but he has said that he is going to go on ahead and meet me there. He said he wants to get on with it and can't be bothered to wait for me to get ready ( I dont take that long anyway). I find it a bit odd that he wants to go on ahead and not actually leave home with me. I know he is not up to anything but when I said I found it strange he said I was in a bad mood and being difficult.

[ummmm]

That is strange. Why doesn't he just start getting ready later?

[ummmm]

If I was you I'd say I wasn't going and make other arrangements.....!!!

[mandimoo]

sounds more like he was in a bad mood and being difficult hun, so dont you worry about that side of it. i wondered if he was the anxious type? perhaps he wanted a drink before the others got there?

[mandimoo]

on the other hand..... its not a birthday or anniversary coming up is it? perhaps he has a surprise for you?

[liquidspace]

He was in a good mood, I spoke to him on the phone a minute ago when he said it. He also said it last night but I ignored it as I thought he was being humourous.
He now says I am being difficult which I dont think I am. I also said that he could have a drink indoors before leaving so he doesn't get there sober!

[funnygirl]

Sounds very odd to me.

It would make me feel like not going at all.

Why don't you get ready earlier and maybe you can leave together.

[liquidspace]

I do plan to get ready earlier so we can leave together. I just emailed him and said it makes me think he wants to go ahead to see if he can pull or see what talent is around (which he jokes about anyway). His answer was 'don't forget I haven't seen my mate James for ages and am in need of a good night out'

Quite what that has to do with anything I'm not sure but has confused me further.

[teag1rl]

Has it been arranged as a couples thing from the start or did he and James arrange to meet and agreed to then let the girls tag along? Could just be he's got the hump that his drinking session with his mate is being curtailed by having the missus's along. I don't think I'd be too impressed in your position, but it's probably not worth making a fuss over.

[liquidspace]

No you have it wrong. We are going out with my friend and her boyfriend who he has never met. Him commenting about going out with his friend James was out of the blue - it didn't relate to what we were talking about.

He has just said he wants no stress, no arguing and I have already 'started' two days before we have even arrived at the club. (basically meaning I am wrong to query him)

[teag1rl]

Ah, Ok, I understand now. Then maybe it's because he's not that fussed on meeting up with your friend and her boyf he hasn't even met. Perhaps this is his way of telling you that he's not likely to be around with you that much that evening but drinking with his own mate instead?

[liquidspace]

No his friend James will not be there. He plans to meet his friend James at some point in the future. That's why I didnt understand why he said that.

Anyway, he said he was looking forward to meeting my friend and her boyfriend. Now I have questioned him on why he wanted to go on ahead he has just said 'ok anything for a quiet life - I don't want to go on ahead'
But this still hasn't told me why he said it.
Guess it's one of the basic differences between men and women - we don't understand each other a lot of the time. I feel like I can't question him on things like this because he accuses me of 'going on' about things so most of the time I keep quiet.

[teag1rl]

Thanks for clarifying. Well the reason he said that then, was so you remember the favour he's doing you in going out this Fri so when he wants to go out on his own and get paralytic with James he won't expect any grief.

I'm sorry I can't help you on why he wanted to go out before you though. Like you said-men and women just don't always understand each other!

[liquidspace]

I don't think he sees it as him doing me a favour by coming out, he really wants to go. But yes get your point about not giving him grief, although I don't give him grief when he goes out. Ooh its complicated isn't it, think I am worrying about nothing, will put it down to one of those things. Thanks for your replies. Guess I should just lighten up, I over analyse too much, men are simpler I guess!

[happyone2]

i wonder if you are missing something.......................... is it that you do take too long to get ready and this is his way of saying so, because to say it up front means he has to discuss it in detail and justify himself etc etc.................... just be ready when he wants to leave ensuring he hasnt got to wait ........... i think you should compromise in this rather than expect him to "have a drink at the house so that hes not sober when he gets there ".............just get yourself in gear and be ready and willing to go when he wants to !!!

sorry, but in this you havent at times explained your self well - bringing in the subject of james, which required several replies before it became clearer............................., and i am also wondering if you might do this at times so that when there is a "discussion" it gets too convaluted and painful !!!

Look at your self before looking it him is what i think im saying

[angel-cake]

Do you often go out together, or is this a first?

[liquidspace]

happyone - you could be right in me making something more complicated , we do have convaluted discussions, as I said I will go with the flow on this one instead of making an issue when I don't have to.

We do go out often together but this is a first in respect of meeting up with another couple, who he hasn't met before. He does tend to act over-confident and like a 'big boy charlie' liking to show off when we go out and so with other people there he feels more like this I think. Also the bar we are meeting at is only 5 minutes walk or so from where we live so it's not as if I have to walk far to meet him in there. Thanks again for your replies.

[QueenOfAmber]

answer my question on the top of realationships and dating to describe your perfect man! only going for 50 answers so please help! we desperately need it! i only have 1 answer and that was by me! please help! thanks! queenofamber! :)