Present for my ex?

[sarah-london]

My ex is due to go into hospital for an operation this week. When I was out at the weekend I saw a book I know he'd love so picked it up for him....thought he could use it to pass thetime at the hospital. He split with me. Thing is I don't want him to take something innocent & make a big deal of it. What should I do? Give him the book? Not give him the book?

[saxy_jag]

Give it to him, but with an explanation (either spoken or written) that you're doing so as a friend and mean nothing more by your gesture. After that ... no more about it. That's assuming, of course, that this is the case, so you should think very carefully about your motives before you do.

If your motive really is innocent and platonic, then it's very thoughtful of you.

[happyone2]

if you motive is to get back with him, then it could be a good way of starting the dialogue off..........................

If you arent interested in getting back with him truly then the quesiont to ask is - has enough time passed for a friendship to be in place on both sides......... ...............

you may want friendship but he may not yet and you might have rushed it by buying him the book....................

only you can know,

if this is part of the dance that is your relationship or whether it is really all over - in which case - why are you bothering....? do you really need him as a friend ?

[mandimoo]

i would say trust your instinct.... and your instinct seems to think it might not be a good idea, otherwise why ask? do you doubt your motives?

[ceejn]

Dont give him the book.

[sarah-london]

Sorry ceejn - just saw your message but too late I'm afraid. I went to see him today & gave him the book. I did just as saxy_jag suggested.......gave him the book but just said I got for him as I thought he'd enjoy it....that's it. He was very accepting of the gift & of the thought behind it - from one friend to another. Thanks guys.