Love or not?

[Lov3shy]

Being with my girlfriend for 5 months - what an achievement? Not quite

I had grown to like her very much and our relationship was going really well, but now it is heading to rock bottom!
Upon telling her of my sexuality (bisexual), she went mad and was questioning me of my sexuality (essentially being rude); now she tells me to start a new life to overcome bisexuality - you see, I didn't want to be bisexual at first, but then I grew to accept it and told her this (ultimately confusing her)

Our relationship has gone quite rocky and a few arguments concerning the problems have led me wondering if I love her still or not. She can be really lovely sometimes, and really annoying at others; I can't open into my feelings to determine if I love her or not.

I feel I want to break up with her and she keeps trying to get me in doubting the decision (which further annoys me). But as said, I can really love her and really hate her and this is really horrible for me.

In how should I proceed? What shall I do? What can I say?

Thanks :)

[andy-hughes]

It sounds as though your girlfriend was keen when she thought you were heterosexual, less so now she knows otherwise.

I would suggest that you both take a break and re-assess if you want this relationship to continue - the signs certainly don;t look good.

Everyone deserves to be loved and accepted for who they are - this doesn;t seem to be happening here.

Take a step back and think about it, and decide where you both want to go from there. the fact that your girlfriend things a 'new life' will make you what she wants you to be indicates that there may not be a future with her.

[LoftyLottie]

If she can't accept you for what you are then the relationship doesn't stand a chance.

You can't change what you are. You can change habits and change outlooks but you can't change your sexuality to suit someone else.

If you go along with her wishes you will end up really unhappy.

[Tups]

Are you monogamous?

[QueenOfAmber]

First of all, I agree with andy-hughes - who, by the way, is brilliant! :) - and second, you could have been honest with her from the start... (sorry, it had to be said! )
But last of all, you shouldn't be with her if she can't accept you. Plus, she sounds a bit bipolar if you ask me if you love her then hate her. Hope this helps and you are finally happy! :)

[jno]

actually, bisexuality doesn't sound like on those things I'd spill on a first date, any more than the finer details of my health. Some things are private, and you tell them people when you know them well enough - which sounds like what you've done. If she can't handle it - well, bad luck but it doesn't sound as if she can accept you for what you are. But I don't think telling from the start would have made any difference, except perhaps she'd have headed for the door even faster.

[skipy]

Hlloe mate
I really do think you need to be honest and open from the start. thats the way its worked for me for the last 20 years

Good luck

[pinkkitty]

Its hard to be open and honest about something like being bisexual because as Lov3shy has discovered it can blow up in your face. not everyone is comfortable with it, but that's their problem, not yours. you should never have to make apologies for being who you are.

I'm now quite open about being bisexual, and have a "take me as i am" attitude. along the way i have lost several "friends" who were threatened by my sexuality. Even though they know i am happily married, they still think i'm going to pounce on them or something!

Your Girlfriend needs to accept you as you are, or there cannot be a future for your relationship. I've met men before who think they can "turn" me, but just as a person who is 100% gay cannot be "turned" neither can a true bisexual change their sexual preferences. If this relationship doesn't work out you will need to try to be more upfront with the next person you start seeing, because if they find out at a later date they will be hurt that you hid it from them and may wonder what else you could be hiding.

good luck!

Kitty.

[Lov3shy]

I know, I should have been honest from the start but I wasn't because I was too scared she'd hate me. I told her when it was too late (like a few weeks ago) and this inevitably caused a bit of friction.

So what do I do from here? I went out with her tonight and we had a good time. I love her sometimes and really hate her at others - it's really annoying and it's like a vicious circle playing with my emotions.

[QueenOfAmber]

Just keep on having a good time! Maybe you will overcome it...
If not you can always get someone else, can't you? You sound really nice to me! :)
Just try not to make the same mistake again, after all, if you learn from your mistakes that's the best thing you can do my friend. :)
Thanks for rating my answer so quickly! I really like that!
Hope you work things out,
QueenOfAmber
x

[Lov3shy]

Will try maintaining good vibes with her - I hate it when she can ask me questions in which requires an honest answer, she doesn't accept it if it's not what she thinks.

But yes, maintain positivity and stay on each other's good side

Fabulous!

Thanks for you help everyone - really appreciate it :D

[QueenOfAmber]

You rock! :)

[Lov3shy]

I know I do

and you do too

:)

[QueenOfAmber]

Aww! Thanks!
I bet you'll find love again EASY! You sound like a really nice guy...;)

[Lov3shy]

I'm sure I will

Oh, if you go onto 'Chatterbank' (on the side menu of categories), you'll eventually find one about me which says you rock (does QueenOfAmbe rock?) you may answer it as you wish
:)

[legendis.god]

Christine the strawberry girl ,

christine see her faces unfurl.