take a vote

[4getmenot]

My mate has been obsessed with this bloke for over a year now and he wont go out with her and says he's not ready for a relationship etc. Now within the past couple of weeks she has met someone else and just had a bit of fun with him although she knows it is not going to lead to anything. anyway the bloke she was obsessed with asked her round lastnight and ended up crying on her how he didnt want to lose her etc. So what does she do? I havent seen her as happy as she has been for ages and my opinion is that he doesnt want her but no-one else can have her, he never offered her a thing yesterday, So should she go back to him and take the chance he might want her one day?

[Lakitu]

No!

[4getmenot]

I;ve said that he just loves himself and for him to make her feel guilty now she is having fun is him just being selfish if he really wanted her he would know and would have asked her out lastnight. Just him saying how he cant lose her is just because he doesnt want to get lonely.

[redcrx]

no!
she should perhaps tell him she'll remain good friends with him but thats where it ends.
unless of course he suddenly starts to properly show an interest in her.

[Sgt.Rock]

No, he sounds off his head!! You are asking for yourself really aren't you?

[Lakitu]

He's loving the fact a woman 'wants' him and he's happy to leave it at that because it massages his ego.

He's no more going to give her more than I am going to fly to the moon.

Men. It's a wonder I haven't turned to women by now.

[Maypole]

Absolutely not!

He is worried he will lose her attention and has had ages to act on any urges he might have had.

By the way when crying on her shoulder and saying he didnt want to lose her did he actually offer anything? A date? The promise of fun and frolic? A lifetime of devotion? Or did he just want her to give something up..............

Hmmm I wonder

[4getmenot]

ha ha no sgt I used to be in that situation and I chose the right man and got rid of the loser that led me on :-) I guess that why I hate to see her in same situation

[4getmenot]

When I told her he was just getting lonely she said 'well he has mates' and I explained that they have there own lives and he thrives on the fact she will drop everything to go round there when he wants. I said I knew that she's put off night with me and other mates to be with him and that isnt how it should be

[4getmenot]

and maypole absolutely nothing that is why I know he's just feeling sorry for himself, if he wanted her that would have been his perfect oppurtunity to say

[noquarter7]

It sounds to me like she needs to give this guy an ultimatum. She's been obsessed with him for a long time now, and does he think that she's supposed to wait forever for him until he feels he's ready to be in a relationship? Life is too short, so she needs to tell him that she's tired of waiting for him and she should demand to know what his true intentions are.

[onlyme26]

tricky situation to be honest, could be a case of..... dunno what you got till its gone, or just a case of, he wants her there for the friendship and attention yet no relationship but doesnt want anyone else to have her either,

they need to establish exactly how they both feel and what can and will or not happen, so they can both move on together or with other people

goodluck x

[4getmenot]

she's left him gone back, given him ultimatums and he has always said no

[zxyvixy]

if he doesnt want her what is she going back to.when someone isnt ready relationship whats the point in waiting.she should move on and start enjoying herself.

[4getmenot]

exactly but now he has started crying about it she sees it as he wants her, but I see it as he just misses the attention

[cazzz1975]

I think your tight 4get, if he genuinely liked her he would have already made a move, he really isnt that interested but the fact she is obsessed is giving his ego a nice boost, he will never get together with her he will just string her along

[ddaisy992]

let her make up her own mind. You sound jealous of your mate, gettn attention. Go live your own life or get one.