Guys

[Therema]

Why is it when i get chatting to a guy i like, he says he likes me too and wants to meet up, then all of a sudden he starts to get weird saying stuff like ive got issues and gotta let the past go and things like that, when i dont, been single for yrs but been on my own for about 6 yrs now and very wary, is it because they feel they got something to live up to or what, im totally confused, BTW im not a young girl, im 50, *very young at heart* and would love to meet a nice genuine guy , whats going wrong ? any input would be gratefully accepted apart from nastiness thank you :)

[sara3]

they all say you have issues? either that's a huge coincidence, or perhaps you do.. or you're giving off those vibes.

how do your relationships progress?

[Velvetee]

Often Therema, we are not aware that we are doing something. Perhaps you come across to your dates in a negative manner, that you don't realise.

When you go on dates, do you talk about past experiences with men and come across as bitter and as if you dislike them or as if you might have "bunny boiling tendencies"?

Men generally hate negativity and like happy, confident women who feel happy with themselves. Perhaps when you go on your next date, don't dwell on or talk too much about past relationships, especially not in a negative way.

You will come across am mistrustful, suspicious and possibly a bit scary.

[Huderon]

hmmm ... If they all say things along similar lines, it could just be that you spend a lot of time talking about your past when you're doing the getting to know you bit, and perhaps the way you talk about it gives them that impression.

Unlikely, but perhaps you scare them and they are using that as an excuse to get away ! A lot of us male-type people aren't good at handling some things :-)

[Therema]

I never spend time talking about my past unless im asked and id rather not as i tell tell them, but i havent been on a date for at least 5 yrs cos i cant be bothered with the hastle, this is guys im speaking to online, so you see why im being put off, if they dont wanna know why ask, im an easy going person, likes a laff likes to go out for a drink/meal and i love nights in snuggling up, am i still doing something wrong ?

[Therema]

BTW Velvetee i am all what you say, but try to give people the benefit of the doubt but thats online cos ive not met anyone yet offline

[sara3]

you're sounding like a dating site ad! "loves a dvd with a bottle of wine, snuggled on the sofa"!

why don't you just ask men on dating sites for constructive criticism?

[Therema]

Sarah3 ive not been on dating sites, just on a couple of community sites i was introduced to i wouldnt do dating sites, im only on to chat, have a laff, and if someone special shows up fine but not actually looking for anyone but if he comes along its a bonus

[pastafreak]

could it be that the talk of 'meeting up' is just part of the chat-room experiance,and that these men never have any intention of meeting up. Rather-that saying it is part of the ritual?

[puppykins]

maybe you are too beautiful and u make them insecure?

[Therema]

no pasta the guy in question was dead keen yet again in meeting up, and things are going great, then yet again for the second time he says something like you dont seem too keen maybe we should just forget it ROFL i was taken aback again cos i was gonna set a date to meet, but this time i just told him i cant do this every week to forget it , and just blocked him from msn, im too old to be puting up with this nonsense, he's 30odds btw not a younf boy

[Therema]

Yeah right puppy that'll be the day pmsl

[Ice.Maiden]

Sounds to me Therema, as though you've just been unfortunate in which men you've chosen to talk to. You say it was via a community site, NOT a dating site, so more than likely, the man/men in question are either married or have partners - or lied about what they look like, etc., so when it comes down to any serious level, such as actually meeting up, they're making excuses not to! I think it's best to just keep them as friends, or, go onto a dating site where the chances of meeting up with someone are more likely.

[couchpot123]

It is just possible that he is already in a relationship & is possibly looking for a bit on the side without any fuss or strings?

[Therema]

Ice Maiden and couch the guy as far as i know hasnt been in a relationship for about 2 yrs, and not been seeing anyone, was married at one time, but not gave anything away to as why it broke up, i didnt think it was any of my business to ask anyway i was seriously gonna say next wkend but ive decided just to give it a miss and carry on being single and just get on with life cos its things like this that puts me off starting over again

[Ice.Maiden]

No - don't be put off hun. You only had this guy's word for it that he's been single for 2 years. I'm not saying that it was a lie, but it could've been.
Never give up - there's someone out there for you. x

[couchpot123]

Oh BTW I'm an Airline Pilot, A leading brain surgeon et al. A 30 yr old Brad Pitt lookalike, any woman who sees me is driven wild with delight & swoon at my mere touch. (for all that load of Guff read: factory worker, 48, greying, fat, married with 3 kids) lol. Seriously Therema,Bit of friendly advice, pluck up the courage, get yourself out there, there IS some one there for you.

[couchpot123]

Please don't think I'm mocking you in any way, just trying to lighten your mood. Life is TOO short, with way too many lonely people out there, so take the plunge girl!!

[Therema]

Yeah i know guys its just getting the courage to get out and find someone, but gotta get out with someone in the first instance to meet these adonises lol, so called friends are full of excuses now *sob* woe is me rofl , trust me if someone comes along and i bag him you'll all be the first to know :)

[Ice.Maiden]

Lol - that's the spirit! Well...have you got a dog? If not - get one. You meet loads of new people if you do the same route each day, and dog owners tend to chat with others, and....
Or get yourself off to an evening class or something. You'll find singletons there as well. x

[couchpot123]

right on ice maiden. met my missus at a gardening class. never have worked out why that gorgeous creature fell for a myopic, beer-gutted slob