Would you define this as emotional abuse?

[FEELINLOST]

If your relationship began on lies and hurt to your partner on and off for 10 years and your partner tells you you have abused him emotionally - would this be correct?

[mrs_overall]

Yes

[bensmum]

Yes

[bednobs]

yes

[CheekyChops]

Yes

[happyone2]

it is easy to say YES, your question lends itself to that response, however 10 years of continual abuse ?

Can you give a little more depth to this posting ??

[ummmm]

Who's lies. You don't say?

[obNOXious]

too vague for an accurate answer.

[ann_h]

If you do something that causes suffering, and you do so repeatedly, without regard to the other person's hurt, then it is abuse.
Emotional, psychological or physical - the rule is the same, just the tool is different.

However, I cannot comment on your case entirely especially with regard to supporting your claim against your partner, as it's often a 2-way street

[paraffin]

Depends how thick-skinned he is. Some people will put up with a helluva lot because they're perversely terrified of losing the emotional abuser.

However, I suppose the short answer to the details given has to be - yes.

[redcrx]

how many times are you going to go over this.

get out, you relationship does not sound at all healthy.

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion419371.html

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question658277-2.html

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Society-and-Cul ture/Religion-and-Spirituality/Question658275. html

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question421703.html

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question421703.html


http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion419346.html

youve been asking the same things for almost 2 years now.

what advice do you want to hear?

[ummmm]

You'd make a great detective Red :-)

Get a grip woman. You seem to want us to tell you he'll change and that you'll live happy ever after.

He won't, you won't.

[redcrx]

i would, wouldnt I lol

[FEELINLOST]

What I mean is I'm the one who has lied to my partner from the start of our relationship i.e going back to my ex etc.
I was about 16 when all this happend ut Im not using that as an excuse.

Throughout the relationship I have told white lies which have again caught up with me & he always compares them to my past lies, we've had issues about me being loyal & respectful as well.

I admit I have hurt him in many ways and he's stuck by me. His hurt & pain has actually turned him to be abusive physically & emotionally with me and he has recently said he will not hit me again which he hasn't - it has been 2 months. He still has a tendency of having a lot of control over me in arguments which I'm reluctant to respond to as if I push the wrong buttons he might threaten me or hit me.

I know there are some of you who are familiar with me and are fed up with me keep going on about my relationship problems, but I guess I just want to make the relationship work - we are getting married in September................

[bensmum]

Sorry feelinlost but I don't think there is ever an excuse for physical violence. This is a major issue and you both need help with it before you take the step of getting married

[redcrx]

how can you get married whilst both of you are in such a mess?

a wedding certificate is not a bandage.

you need space to decide if you are going to forgive each other and move on or hold onto the past and split up

[justconfused]

Feelinlost

This all sounds very difficult but one thing is very clear! You both have issues in this relationship that Have to be cleared before you even think of getting married! Have you thought about going to relationship counselling together?

Any abuse is not right in a relationship and it seems to me you have a lot of guilt from the past and maybe he uses that to his advantage?

That really is no basis for a healthy relationship and a wedding ring and a piece of paper will make any difference to that.

Talk to him - if you cant talk to him then why would you want to spend your life with him? Really think about it? It looks like you both need to change some things and fast

Good luck :)