How can I stay away from him???

[SazzyC0]

Hi, basically I have been seeing someone for nearly a year. He has made it very clear he wont commit and I do not want to keep going back to him. We spend a lot of time together and the sex is great but this lack of commitment really gets to me, it's like I am a stop gap until someone else comes along.

How can I stop myself from keep going back to him. We have tried to be just friends which is what I want but always end up in bed together. Has anyone had a similar experience?? He only lives up the road too so I cant avoid him.

I know it is very weak of me, I think its the sex mainly, I have a high sex drive and the sex is the best I have ever had. I know if I got a new man I would be ok but he kind of stops me from doing that as I dont really bother to make the effort to find one.

[CAJ1]

Have more respect for yourself and don't allow him to use you for sex until he finds someone else. Try to find hobbies to keep you busy, go out with your friends and invest in a rabbit until the right guy comes along lol!

[SazzyC0]

I know I should, God it sounds really pathetic doesn't it! I have a rabbit, just not the same as the real thing tho!

[CAJ1]

No, yo're not pathetic, you have feelings and needs the same as everyone else. You need to try and be strong and remind yourself that going back to him is going to make you feel worse each time. What if he was to find someone else and you're cast aside by yourself? You need to move on and go out and try to find someone else. I don't know about that, my one does the trick lol!

[tamborine]

he's already committed as he keeps returning. He needs you as much as you do him - just keep going & see where it goes.

[aniani]

Having been in a similar " relationship" I strongly disagree with tamborine

[SazzyC0]

What happened with you then aniani?

[sleepy1j]

having a pet rabbit is just not the same lol

[sqad617]

I agree with tamborine.....I cannot see you immediate problem.

[SazzyC0]

Obviously you are a bloke Squad?!

[paraffin]

Sazzy:

Only YOU can ultimately decide what to do no matter what advice any of we lot give you.

There is NO ideal solution to these situations. So-called matters of the heart are not resolved with common sense and usually run their course until one of several things happen. I don't need to explain what those are, do I?

You will one day reach a conclusion and move on accordingly. What will that conclusion be? I don't know and I'll bet that neither you nor this guy know at this stage either.

In life, s*it happens, as they say. Sorry if that's a bit of a vulgar way to put it, but we all go through some crisis or other as we go along and quite often there isn't a straightforward resolution to make things "better". Magic wands are elusive things to find.

Be happy if you've at least got your health. Good luck !

[sqad617]

sazzy...yes, but tamborine isn't.

[SazzyC0]

Hi Paraffin, thanks for the answer. I know what your saying and you're probably right. Was just wondering what other peoples opinions on this would be really...

[sqad617]

sazzy...great sex is fine, but it will sooner or later get boring, same routine, same positions etc...........when it does, then come back for advice......cus it will....and so will you.

[paraffin]

Sazzy:

Yeah, you're spot on to do so. After all, as they say, "a problem shared etc etc"

[aniani]

Sazzy - sorry for the delay in response. I don't wish to elaborate here, suffice to say I was in a similar situation to you and advise that you might come out hurt. Good luck x

[Sasha13]

I was in a very similar type of relationship.

Bloke told me he didn't want a relationship but like a fool I kept going back for more.

This kept going for 6 months until he met someone else, and didn't have the courtesy to let me know - I found out through Facebook.

In your post you put 'it's like I am a stop gap'. It's not LIKE you're a stop gap - you are a stop gap.

I strongly suggest you go and buy 'He's Just Not That Into You' by Greg Bernhardt (I think). It's absolutely brilliant.

Someone is going to get hurt in this situation - and it WILL be you. I guarantee it.

[lil123]

You just need to be strong and break the cycle that is happening.
I have been in a similar situation and found the only way was to break it completely.
Don't text him, phone him or see him.
If you see him in the street just say hello and walk away.
It will be really hard at first but then when you meet someone who respects you and treats you like you should you will wonder why you ever bothered with him.
There are other ways of satisfying your sex drive, without going into too much detail, that I learnt to do also.
It will get easier as time passes.
You deserve to meet someone right for you.
Good luck xx