How do I stop resenting my boyfriend?

[Rachel1089]

My boyfriend treated me badly at the start of our relationship but we discussed and rectified the matter. I still resent him however and am so tired of being angry. I would appreciate advice on how to move on from this so the relationship can flourish.

[Velvetee]

Hi Rachel, would you be willing to tell us what the nature of his bad treatment entailed?

I think I can relate to your feelings of resentment, I've had those same feelings recently with my partner. We are going for counselling, but it is difficult to move past those feelings.

I guess you just have to make the decision to draw a line through what happened in the past and try to move on, making a fresh start. Bitterness and resentment will just make you weary and the relationship will never progress.

[Razzle09]

Anger management may be useful so explore the primary source of the anger and think about other ways you can direct it.

[Infomaniac]

Rachel - this is too complex an issue to discuss on a site like this. Get some professional help to deal with the roots of your problem. Good luck.

[Rachel1089]

Hi.
Thank you for your support mioaw, I am glad I am not the only one going through this.

Velvetee,
My boyfriend has been through some pretty bad relationships and has been let down by previous partners, which I think he took out on me. At the beginning of our relationship I had very good self esteem but he has destroyed that and I now feel extremely self confident all the time. I also told him something extremely private about my past which he used against me in the bedroom, so now I am also quite nervous about that aspect of our relationship too. Ever since we discussed this my boyfriend has been extremely supportive and we are taking things a lot slower in a sexual sense as well.

[Velvetee]

Rachel It sounds like, until your boyfriend sorts his own issues out, he wont be able to have a healthy, balanced relationship and will probably continue to run you down and make you feel bad, when he's having a bad episode.

Perhaps he needs to speak to someone about his past and understand why he feels angry and bitter. The more he understands himself the easier it will be for him to tell you how he feels, without using verbal abuse.

Good luck