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Dealing with a slob...Practical Solutions
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I've mentioned before my Partner is a slob, a bit like Stig of the dump infact. Whilst he's very clean in himself, bathes 2-3 times per day etc, he has no concept of how to live hygienically in the home.
Since I moved in with him over 2 years ago, I've spent numerous hours tidying away his paperwork, hundreds of coke cans and food wrappers, picking clothing off the floor all for him to come home and put it back to how it was within hours.
My new baby should be here by the weekend and the house is almost up to scratch. We've both been tidying, cleaning and doing things to make it look homely. However, I'm very worried he will not be able to maintain a tidy home environment.
Already I've been throwing cans and chocolate wrappers away, that he's left lying around and I went to the loo, he'd used the last of the Toilet roll, but didn't replace it. The bag was just outside the bathroom door too.
I'm very concerned that when the baby comes home, I'll have my hands full with him, but won't be able to control the mess and clutter of my partner. It will be like having a baby and a toddler and I know it will make me depressed. All I seem to do is nag and just don't know how to get through to him, that as an adult he needs to make the effort to put things away, clear up after himself etc.
I honestly blame his Mother. I'm the first woman he's lived with and he lived at home with his parents until he met me. From what I've heard, his Mother did everything for him. I don't want to be his replacement Mother. What can I do to get him to be tidy?
Since I moved in with him over 2 years ago, I've spent numerous hours tidying away his paperwork, hundreds of coke cans and food wrappers, picking clothing off the floor all for him to come home and put it back to how it was within hours.
My new baby should be here by the weekend and the house is almost up to scratch. We've both been tidying, cleaning and doing things to make it look homely. However, I'm very worried he will not be able to maintain a tidy home environment.
Already I've been throwing cans and chocolate wrappers away, that he's left lying around and I went to the loo, he'd used the last of the Toilet roll, but didn't replace it. The bag was just outside the bathroom door too.
I'm very concerned that when the baby comes home, I'll have my hands full with him, but won't be able to control the mess and clutter of my partner. It will be like having a baby and a toddler and I know it will make me depressed. All I seem to do is nag and just don't know how to get through to him, that as an adult he needs to make the effort to put things away, clear up after himself etc.
I honestly blame his Mother. I'm the first woman he's lived with and he lived at home with his parents until he met me. From what I've heard, his Mother did everything for him. I don't want to be his replacement Mother. What can I do to get him to be tidy?
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Sorry Velvetee, don't know the answer but wish I did. I am married to an only child as well whose Mum waited on him hand and foot. I get so angry that he can't even take his coffee cup in to the kitchen and put it in the sink. The worst thing though is that he is a smoker and I can't stand dirty ashtrays. Drives me crazy!!
Good luck and if you do find anything that works, let me know.
Good luck and if you do find anything that works, let me know.
Collect up the cans and chocolate wrappers and leave them on his car drivers seat.
Keep doing it until he gets the message.
Take your own loo roll with you to the loo, and take it out when you leave. Just leave the empty tube where he left it, with no spare roll for him.
Eventually he will begin to understand.
Keep doing it until he gets the message.
Take your own loo roll with you to the loo, and take it out when you leave. Just leave the empty tube where he left it, with no spare roll for him.
Eventually he will begin to understand.
Poodi, I'm a Pisces and he's a Scorpio.
I'm constantly flying off the handle at him. When we had our problems a few months ago, he confided in a female friend of his, that he would like me to be the type of woman who keeps the house clean and has meals cooked for him. This infuriated me, as he's not normal in the sense of piling his paperwork, laptop and an array of other things on the hob, so how can I cook anything regularly. He seems to think every bit of work surface in the kitchen is there for him to dump things.
I can't have people come to the house, as it's too embarrassing and it always reflects badly on the woman, people will always assume my housekeeping skills are slovenly, but it all becomes too much to control, I'd need to be running around after him all day with a broom up my bottom.
We are going to Relate sessions and even the counsellor had to explain to him, that his behaviour shows a lack of respect for me and she said when the baby starts crawling, leaving all his loose change on the floor and his tools, could be potentially fatal. If I'd known he was like this, I'd never have moved in. My flat was always spick and span.
I'm constantly flying off the handle at him. When we had our problems a few months ago, he confided in a female friend of his, that he would like me to be the type of woman who keeps the house clean and has meals cooked for him. This infuriated me, as he's not normal in the sense of piling his paperwork, laptop and an array of other things on the hob, so how can I cook anything regularly. He seems to think every bit of work surface in the kitchen is there for him to dump things.
I can't have people come to the house, as it's too embarrassing and it always reflects badly on the woman, people will always assume my housekeeping skills are slovenly, but it all becomes too much to control, I'd need to be running around after him all day with a broom up my bottom.
We are going to Relate sessions and even the counsellor had to explain to him, that his behaviour shows a lack of respect for me and she said when the baby starts crawling, leaving all his loose change on the floor and his tools, could be potentially fatal. If I'd known he was like this, I'd never have moved in. My flat was always spick and span.
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Hi Velvetee. Tamborine has a point here. Once your baby comes along...you WON'T keep tidy all the time, and it'd be very odd if you did. Toddlers especially, are very curious, and leave a trail of destruction! this is part of exploration and growing up, so take a deep breath, and try not to get in a tizz about things lying around too much. Obviously remove anything which could be classed as dangerous - but other than that, just chill out and enjoy your baby.
I have a bath 2 times per day too Elvis, I thought that was the norm. Couldn't abide a smelly, smeggy man, that would be a million times worse than the untidyness.
Elephant gun Snags, have thought about a blunt object on many an ocassion.
Ice he seems mainly to just like soaking in the warm water, where he reads a car or Hi Fi magazine. He say's it helps him to relax and wind down.
Elephant gun Snags, have thought about a blunt object on many an ocassion.
Ice he seems mainly to just like soaking in the warm water, where he reads a car or Hi Fi magazine. He say's it helps him to relax and wind down.
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