Saying three little words

[Boobars]

My partner has only said he love's me with out being promted twice once when we first meet ( which through me as we had only known each other for about 3 months) and once last year. Since then he hasn't said it. When speaking to him about it he just say's "its not me" and that I know that he does! I think it is important for people to say and for them to hear. I'm not sure if I can live in a relationship with a man that cannot show/speak his feelings. I know he cares very much but not sure if thats enough.
He does say it back when I say it to him but I'm begining not to believe it as he never says it unless I do.

I don't beleive that you should say it all the time but enough so that people know. Am I making to much of something or not?

[B00]

So if someone showed you they loved you but never actually said it, you'd move on Legend?

[SuDFB]

Boobars,

In my opinion its very important, showing and saying it... I have been with my partners for 5 years and we say at least twice a day or so and we both mean it, we are still like two teenagers in love. I guess it depends on the person but if he realy find it hard to say maybe just here and there.

You said he has only told you twice? And how long have you been together?

I was brought up without those words no one really said it at home but I use daily to my partner...

Have a chat with him just explain that he don't need to say it all the time but here and there would be nice specialy when your having a nice moment like cuddling or something...

Good luck...

[CAJ1]

Hi,

I posted on a similar thread this morning saying men don't express their feelings as they are built completely different to women! Try reading men are from mars, women are from venus - you should find it interesting!

If you bring it up and say to him then he could end up saying it just to please you rather than because he wants to and then it will lose its meaning. At the end of the day it is only 3 words and actions speak louder than words

[Ankou]

trouble is from past experience it doesn;t stop there from a blokes perspective.

you say 'i love you'
they say 'do you?'
you say 'yes, i just said it didn't i?'
they say 'how much?'
you say 'loads'
they say 'what more than west ham'
and you say....er......nearly

than all hell breaks loose and you find out she hates your mates, your family, west ham and all your clothes and your taste in music.

much better just to show the love and stay schtum.

[leggysonogod]

How can you show love without saying it boo?


The best way to show love is to say it and be sincere and honest when you say it.

I dont believe you can show love without saying it.

Its not about sex , about the things you do , its the way you are the way you feel and the things that you say to each other, be it in public or alone, but if you cannot nsay it and express that love in words as well as in a physical nature then id say theres a definite need for some form of counselling to address a major issue.

I t may be that it was never said to you etc as other shave said , but thats something that you and youre partner should strive to sort.
In my opinion.
Boo id never stay with anyone just because it was the easy option

[craft1948]

My first husband was always telling me how much he loved me..........trouble was he was telling a lot of other ladies too..............give me actions over words anyday....

[B00]

I'm with Craft. Talk is cheap but actions say alot more to me.

love for me is Mr Boo helping me wash the yucky birth stuff off me in the bath at hospital after I had our daughter. And many many other instances like that.

[Ankou]

just a look could do it.

say if you are looking at each other from a distance when going away etc. i can let my wife know i love her without saying it. if you can't then i think you might need counselling.

[CAJ1]

You can show your love in a million ways without using those three words. A relationship based on saying I love you and not showing your love through actions is not a good one (in my opinion!). When my bf buys me flowers I know he's been thinking about me. When we walk together we hold hands and I know he's proud to be with me. When I talk to him about my problems he looks at me like he wants to take all my pain away. When he hugs me I feel safe and loved. I would prefer all that and have those 3 words kept for special occassions than hear it every day and not feel the love I do when he does all those things.

[leggysonogod]

booo ill resist to ask.

ivebeen there at the births etc.


but the laack of showing affection when alone even isnt natural for human beings.
we are tactile creatures and you can see this in our nearest descendants the chimpanzees .

the diference being human is the ability to tell people that you love them.

crfart i seee what youre saying

weve all beeen let down in love at some point.or let others down too?


the difference is that when someone honestly tells you they love you then thats a special thing

different form having children etc

children dont mean you love each other


just look at the jeremy kyle show


nowadays its a tro[hy

or a bargaining tool for some people


a life with someone who doesnt or cant say they love you

hey

thatd be like living in a prison cell where the door was unlocked
and you could walk in or out anytime.


youd still be in a prison cell.


its not the bars

its not the lock


its

well its knowing youre there.

[SuDFB]

Ankou - not all women responde in that way...

If a man can show it with actions and so on then he can say the bloody words every once in a while...

Look when for one person its important and for the other it isnt it doesnt work unless you can compromise or accept completely....

[ELVIS68]

My missus is always saying it, sometimes I say it back,

I will later when I need picking up from the pub tonight

[craft1948]

leggy..............you never fail to surprise..........

[B00]

I didn't mean the fact I'd had his child means he loves me! I meant the very fact he was more than willing to wash off the gunk from me.

Words are all very well and good, but if they're not backed up by actions they mean diddly.

Neither myself are very demonstrative, nor are we gushy folk- we both know that we love each other, without needing to say it and that's more good enough for us. And it's obviously working too, happily together 15 years later :-)

[craft1948]

..for me it's when he says.......you have a night off pet.....I'll go to the bar.....

[leggysonogod]

cfart me surprise?


come to back in black pool 2010


should be a few surprises there.


nah i say what i think , how i feel , and stand or fall by what happens.

there are many folk out there either trapped or feeling trapped.

others who just dont try.

anywyas im off this thread im starting to sound like a right p00f


lol : o)

[China Doll]

Well it's been quite some time since I've been in a long-term relationship but if memory serves, I don't think I say I love you very often either.

I do say it spontaniously, as and when I want to but I would be very unhappy if I felt I was being pressurised to say by a partner, largely because I'd wonder what I was doing/not doing that made them even question it in the first instance. I think it is important to say now and then (not every bloody phone call, text, email etc...) but it's more important to ensure that your partner feels loved. I mean, I say I love you jokingly to work collegues (when I'm being cheeky) all the time but I don't really love them.

The only times I drift from this are with my father who I say it to most nights for slightly different reasons and middle sister (Blondie) who I say it to in every email, text or phone call simply because she's in Auzzie land so I don't actually get to say it very often and she's very homesick and we both miss each other loads.

[leggysonogod]

thats a different love china


i tell my son evrtime we talk that i love him .because i do very much so.but its a different kind of love between a parent and their child or between siblings.

[lil75]

Sometimes my man says he loves me and I dont say it back, not cos I dont love him, but because I will say it when I want to, when im feeling it....... not because I should! My fella knows I love him and I dont need to keep saying it I prefer 2 show it