Feeling Sad :-(

[think_sweet]

Im feeling so sad, My boyfriend decided to end our 5 year relationship whilst on holiday :-(. He told me there was no room for me in his life anymore and that he wants a fresh start ALONE when we get home! I'm devastated and really confused, the rest of the holiday was horrible for me especially because he was absolutely fine with it, it was so difficult to keep composed, and I broke down several times in front of him! We've only been back home a day and Im missing him terribly, I feel sick and cant stop crying. We have had a few rows recently but nothing major, or enough to take such a drastic decision! The day after he ended it he said he loves me, is attracted to me and did see a future with me but wants to be alone and 100% does not want to be in a relationship anymore!

If we still lived together we could have possibly talked this though, but he moved into his own flat just before the holiday and I moved back to my parents house (for financial reasons)

I am truly heartbroken :-(

[jrobinson200]

awww i dont really know what advice to give, but keep your chin up. maybe hes just doing the whole man thing of needing a bit of space because he's scared of settling down. he will probably come around soon.
xxx

[Redrum]

So sorry you are going through this pain and hurt right now thinksweet, but I am also bearing this burden...my partner and I split only yesterday, we did have our disagreements but he has a different view of things and would not listen to me, not even prepared to talk it over, we think we mean so much to them but in the end...what can we do ? I do feel for you, I truly do, it is the worst feeling ever, I cant eat, sleep, cant even bear being in the house, cant settle, yes I cried so much I gave myself a banging headache, men are strange, but alas once they make their minds up there is little we can do to change them...stick with it, carry on as normal if you can, and look after yourself, I think my ex will move on quicker than me somehow...the trick is to keep busy, but how when you feel so ill ?? Here if you need a shoulder....you are in a very fragile state right now, it is very similar to grieving so please dont be hard on yourself. Cry if you need to.

[~Wingnut~]

Oh I'm sorry think_sweet, you must be really upset but I must say what a ******* your ex sounds!!!! How could anyone do that whilst on holiday?! and then carry on regardless for the rest of the holiday!
I'm not surprised you broke down on holiday and are heartbroken, he has been really callous but I guess a lucky escape in a way for you as you have seen his true colours.

It is going to be hard going but you will come through this! Keep yourself busy and surround yourself with friends, come back fighting stronger and better than ever without him :o)

[think_sweet]

Thank you for your kind words, I hadnt considered the possibility that he had met somebody else? this could explain things? I feel so let down, how could somebody who is supposed to love you be so cold? This is a side I have never seen.

[Redrum]

Yes, it is odd, I cant fathom out how I was my partners 'world' only the day before and then its like a switch has been flicked, I guess we can only try so hard, there are limits - I believe if something is worth it then you have to work at it if you want to stay together, I guess he didnt want to work at it anymore. Cant help how they feel...having said that, I still think positive and given some time, if he is missing you and he WILL be missing you, I am sure you will get a call soon..have faith. If you want something someone bad enough, it will happen...no matter how long you have to wait...give him some space, dont text or email or call, men hate it if you chase them constantly pouring out how much you love them, weird aren't they lol - try be strong, even though your heart is breaking.

[Androcles]

This sounds to me as if it is a decision which had crept up on him. You have spent quite a bit of your post describing your view - perhaps you may need to try and get inside what may have made him decide this - assuming that he has not met somebody else. (If he has, I have to say, it is pretty cowardly not to tell you - and if he wanted to break up, telling you would be a surefire way of drawing a line under the relationship!)

So think hard about the way the relationship has gone, are there any clues about what may have pushed him to do this, fear of commitment as jrobinson says, or even fear of letting you down. Sometimes people put others on pedestals and give the feeling that they expect more than the other feels capable of giving and frightens them off in that way. If he told you he still oves you, then this is one possibility, you may like to reflect on.

I am sorry you are feeling hurt at the moment, but sometimes one has to try and think about things as well as react emotionally, hard though it may be. Perhaps ask one or two of your friends to be totally honest with you and say if they feel if anything in your behaviour could have led to this, or is it down to his inadequacies?

Best of luck!

[lil123]

I'm a firm believer in things happen for a reason.
He obviously is not the right man for you to treat you like this.
You will feel better in a few weeks but it takes time. You need to go through these feelings in order for them to be released.
Keep people who will support you around you and keep busy.
You can now plan a whole new life for yourself and meet lots of new people.
I was at my lowest a few years ago after I left a 20 year relationship and now everyday I love my life and live it as full as I can.
Took ALOT of hell to get to this stage though, but by god it was worth it ! x

[wbk666]

you want to hurt him back? sleep with his mates.
it'll rip his heart out ;) and if it doesnt he obviously has no feeling for you.

[The Sherman]

If it is definately over- and you will know it!
if thats the case then I would get rid of everything that reminds you of him!
just completely cleanse yourself of him! no pictures letters anything at all! Thats what i did a couple of months ago and its helped me! also zero contact with him and def keep busy! this is the time to join a gym or a club just to make sure you dont have time to mope around. you will feel much better when your more active so take up some form of exercise as well! and chin up happens to the best of us!

[sam100]

That was really mean of him. He should never have gone on holiday if that was his plans. As horrid as it sounds i wouldnt waste time on the 'whys' -that will all become clear in time, it always does, instead pick yourself up, stick two fingers up to him and get on with your life.

Sounds like it had been in his thoughts for a while. If you lived together before you just dont go your seperate ways living arrangements wise- no matter how broke you are. Its regressive.

I wish you all the best. He obviously wasnt the right one for you.

[bondie007]

I'm sorry this has happened to you because the same thing happened to me. Last year, I split with a guy who said I meant the world to him, still loved me, wanted to continue to be friends but that he just couldn't be in a relationship at that time but that there was always a possibility of us getting back together... As I was deeply in love with him, I thought this was going to be the case and that we could work things out etc etc etc but lo and behold, 4 months after we split, he was with someone else.

So, I think your ex has just done exactly the same thing what my ex did to me. i.e. trying to not make himself look like a complete b****** by saying he still loves you (that makes you kinda feel sorry for him and not hate him) - but at the end of the day pet, he doesn't want to be with you. So so so sorry to be blunt, but some men are spineless gits and haven't got the guts to be honest. Its the easiest way out of a relationship to say that you just don't want to be in one...

And I know its such a cliche, but time is a great healer and the reasons will become all too apparent why you split sooner or later!!! Have faith - you never know what's around the corner...